A Nintendo UnEntertainment System[1]
The Nintendo UnEntertainment System (NUES) is a system sold in 1936 designed to play shames, and is arguably the stupidest idea anyone has ever had. Many believe this is even stupider than the time Patrick Star stuck his hand in a blender because he wanted a cannibal smoothie. The NUES was also the biggest failure of Nintendo, and the reason they went out of business for several years.
History
The NUES was created one day was Shigeru Miyamoto was pacing in his office. According to his crap-logic, success is good. And the Nintendo company is the most successful of all time. And since too much of a good thing isn't good, they need to do bad to do good. So, he decided that if he wanted to stay successful, he must create the most disgusting and insulting shame system the world had ever seen. And thus, the NUES was born! (insert pop & a baby crying here)
The Nintendo UnEntertainment System was created the next day. It had exceeded Mr. Miyamoto's expectations. Not only did it have terrible graphics and sound that sounded like nails on a chalkboard, but it was also incredibly rude to whoever was playing, and had a knack of shooting fire at people. The NUES went on the shelves within the week.
It was the biggest failure Anybody and Everybody had ever seen. In fact, Biased Ratings and the Anti Tails Movement quit their normal ranting to go and protest the creation of this shaming system. Shigeru Miyamoto and Nintendo were hated by everyone in the entire UnWorld. The successful failure of the NUES led to the creation of the Virtual Boy.
Shames
There are no official shames that can be played on the NUES, just to make people mad after they buy it.
Homebrew community
Thanks to the only idiotic and/or evil 3 fans of the NUES, including Dio Brando, You, and Nobody, the NUES has a small homebrew community which has lead to the development of several games (actually shames, but don't tell them that) including:
- Giuseppe: The Third Mario Brother | a rage shame in the vein of Cat Mario or Troll Mario designed to make you turn into a ball of rage created by Dio Brando.
- Poopy Fun Stink Game | The worst shame ever made (legally proven by every professional in every industry) created by You.
- Nothing: The Game | this shame, in the vain of awfulness brought on by everything related to this system, is just a blank screen that never ends and inputs do nothing. Created by nobody.
Fate and Sequel
Most of the remaining copies were sent to Mr. T, who used the parts to make the Mr. T-1000, a robotic version of himself. Some people secretly stole copies from trucks delivering Mr. T's shipments, and even from Mr. T's house directly. Of course, since he was also using other consoles two users found Stupid, and has had foresight, he allowed them to be stolen, leading to UNDER 9000 copies entering circulation, turning them into valuable collectors' items.
The shaming system plans were sent to a company located in East Hyrule named ZioraTek, and they made the new console ZioraTek Entertainent Machine and the New Nintendo UnEntertainment System. The ZTEM & NNUES is better that the NUES in every way.
Footnotes
- ↑ In accordance to the Theory of Mental Degredation, Nintendo UnEntertainment Systems were sold as spare parts to increase frustration of the buyer. No building instructions were included.