OH MY GOD THE NINTENDO NINJAS ARE AFTER ME!!
Nintendo Ninjas are a breed of warriors cultivated by Nintendo with 1 goal and 1 goal only: TAKE DOWN AND SLAUGHTER ANY AND ALL UNAUTHORIZED USES OF NINTENDO'S PROPERTY! The infringements and unauthorized use of Nintendo property varies: from counterfeits and bootlegs, all the way up to using Mario as the mascot for your pizzeria; but it's mostly just petty stuff like downloading ROMs or making fanshames because it's "unlegal". They also act as the bodyguards for Nintendo employees.
Morals[]
In their eyes, an almost 40 year old shame is a massive cash cow. In our eyes, it doesn't make them any money; these shames are on consoles that are very unreliable and lotsa new televisions don't have inputs for them. You can subscribe to Nintendo's Witch Online to play a bunch of them, but it's so crappy that you might as well pirate it. Let’s not forger about the time these buttholes extorted an innocent dude's retirement just because he downloaded Super Mario Bros. That is criminal mistreatment of your fans. Below lies a compilation of items that will provoke Nintendo Ninjas to pursue you relentlessly:
- Downloading ROMs of shames for free – You wouldn't download a car, would you?
- Uploading ROMs of shames for others to play – Very similar to downloading said ROMs.
- Uploading Nintendo music to YouTube – If you do this, the Nintendo Ninjas will let you know that THIS. IS. SPARTA!
- Making parodies with Nintendo characters – SuperMarioLogan learned this the hard way.
- Fanshames – BIG no-no! Many, MANY fan shame makers learnt this lesson the hard way.
- Bootlegs/Counterfeits – 7 GRAND DAD.
- Homebrew – Jailbreaking their system will make them jail you, into the system.
- Emulation - Even if you own said game, it's still a big no no!
Lifestyle[]
The Nintendo Ninjas at someone’s door.
These blackguards normally live in peace, but the second you do any of the stuff on the list, they will be alerted of your exact location with all details alongside a shit-ton of other information such as your full name, your social security number, your UnCard number and all the UnDollars in your UnBank account, phone passcode, fingerprint, the exact shape of your door's keyhole and all sorts of personal information. They will then get in the free Nintendo shames van and hunt you down. Yes, instead of the van saying FREE CANDY it says FREE NINTENDO SHAMES in the Wii color to lure children to them before getting scolded on why piracy is bad, so bad. When they get to your door they will have their NES and Wii Zappers out ready to shoot the device containing the illegal ROM of a 30 year old shame they don't make any money out of anymore because they're greedy and take copyright very seriously. They’re pulling this out of their ass. Sega on the other hand is very cool with fanshames and hires people who make them!