The Nintendo DSi is the most high tech handheld shaming system that has ever been invented. You can tell it is high tech because it has a lowercase "i" in its name. The Nintendo DSi was released about three seconds after the Nintendo DS Lite because Nintendo is trying to make more shaming systems than they need. It's amazing how a lowercase "i" can make a huge difference. (Not)
The idea of the Nintendo DSi was created one second after the Nintendo DS Lite was released. In that one second, Satoru Iwata met with Steve Jobs to help come up with ideas to promote both Nintendo and Apple Inc. In that one second, Jobs said they should make the iNintendo, but Iwata said that was stupid, and he suggested Apple Sucks System. Jobs said that was not a good idea, and they agreed on Nintendo DSi.
During the next second of the three second creation process, they made the system, and mass produced. During the third and final second of the three second creation process, they released it into stores, but Nobody bought it because these idiots forgot to make a bunch of ads. So, they brainwashed people, and they bought the Nintendo DSi.
The Nintendo DSi remained on the shelves of stores for about three days before the new but definitely NOT improved Nintendo 3DS came out. The Nintendo DSi was destroyed by a Spartan Laser just because Steve Jobs likes to be overkill. The little pieces of the Nintendo DSi that actually survived the blast were destroyed by several Rocket Launcher blasts.
The primary function of the Nintendo DSi is not to play shames, but to play music. This is because Steve Jobs is obsessed with music, so he added that at the last minute. Iwata was mad, but Jobs payed him, so Iwata shut up. However, songs can not be downloaded. Instead, you have to take an Apple Rocket to the Apple Space HQ, which costs $5,000,000. Then, songs are $0.99 per song.
The secondary feature of the Nintendo DSi is to play shames. There are over 10,000 shames made for the Nintendo DSi, though most of them star Steve Jobs, because he was awesome enough to put himself in all of them. The Nintendo DSi's shaming capabilities are not very powerful, because most of its hard drive is used for music.
The Nintendo DSi can also be used to hook up to the internet, on the condition that the user pays $2,000,000,000 per month for an internet fee, plus an additional $4 per millisecond of use. The internet also has weak connection, but you can probably stay online for about ten seconds at a time if you are lucky.
The Nintendo DSi also has build in cameras, voice recognition, wall climbing capabilities, stun guns, water balloon launchers, rocket launchers, and a 1939 old fashion telephone. Nintendo and Apple Inc. are not responsible for any injuries or damages caused by the Nintendo DSi.
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