The Nintendo 3DS is this thing made by Nintendo president Satoru Iwata after he was charged for theft and DUI. He was offended that he was being treated like a common criminal for some reason, so he made a new Nintendo DS to shut the Police up. It didn't work, however, because they thought he was building a shank, so they shot him. He survived, I think.
The prototype of the Nintendo 3DS was made of junk Iwata found in his jail cell, so we know it can't be that great. He eventually built it into a basic handheld shaming system. However, it was just a crappy version of the Nintendo DS, so he decided he would add something new. He made it 3D by adding whatever slop they feed you in prisons. Plus that 240p cottonheaded ninny-muggins poo machine had, I dunno, GARFIELD KART!!!
The Nintendo 3DS was first released in the jail's store, so only prisoners got to play it. It was so popular, Nintendo 3DS devices were sold in prisons around the country, because people in Japan are allowed to play shames in jail for some reason. It was then sold in United States of America, Mushroom Kingdom and Hyrule jails. Eventually, Nintendo bailed Iwata out, and they sold it around the world.
Some people outside prison thought the 3DS was no fun, so he sent them to jail, which pretty much led to everyone to jail, since no one likes the 3BS. Eventually Iwata made enough money to refine the jail systems around the world, so they were nicer to the no-good criminals that deserved to die. Iwata then announced the 3DS was the last shaming system he would ever make, but he lied. The Nintendo 2DS was made, which was basically a 3DS mixed with a Wii U gamepad because Iwata is stupid.
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