UnAnything Wiki

Oh- sorry. Slight interruption there, heh. Anyways, UnAnything has a Discord! Check us out!


UnAnything Wiki
UnAnything Wiki
Trophy.png New Mario is a WANTED article!

This means it is among the best UnAnything has to offer! It has been WANTED as of May 2021! Treat it with respect! Go here to see all WANTED articles. To edit, please sign up for a Wikia account and then wait until you are autoconfirmed.
New Mario
New Mario.png
New Mario
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Possibly
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Blue
Age: Unknown
Zodiac: None?
Alive or Dead?: Alive
Likes: Replacing Mario
Dislikes: Being replaced by Mario
Known For: Get ready for this! Replacing Mario
Powers: Unknown
Alignment: Lawful Good
UnRank: 10,000,000

New Mario is a replacement of Mario while he was on a vacation to help calm him down and let him forget about his problems. His (New Mario's) problems include Bowser, Bob the Builder, Hannibal Lecter and Evil Captain 0.


New Mario was created as a ceramic duplicate of Mario when they needed some guy who looked just like Mario to work in shames while he was on vacation. They shoved Mario into the Wa-Machine (while it was on the "Clone" setting), and out popped New Mario. New Mario was not a perfect copy, but Mario said "Close enough!" so he wouldn't go inside the Wa-Machine again. Mario has, in fact, been afraid of the Wa-Machine ever since the abomination known as WaMario was created. Then, Mario left on his vacation, flying to Delfino Isle to relax. His vacation turned out terrible. In fact, it was so awful that he had it made into a shame when he returned. This shame was called Super Mario Sunshine Shut it! No one must know!


Keep talking, scribe-boy.

All right...*Ahem*...anyway...New Mario is made out of glass, so he is especially fragile. Nobody knows why he was created in the form of a glass humanoid, but it is rumored to have been a malfunction on the Wa-Machine's part.

Appearance in Shames

New Mario appeared in only one shame: Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stairs. This game was designed around the fact that New Mario cannot jump on enemies. If he did, he would shatter into bits, and Nintendo would become bankrupt. Thus, it was made into an RPG. A company known as Square Enix was put in charge of the development process, and they introduced a bunch of their own characters into the mix. Some of these characters were Geno, a talking doll, Mallow, a cloud that thinks it is a frog for some reason, and some random guy named...

Don't say his name!


Carry on.

...and some random guy who couldn't get a job in any of Square Enix's own shames as the final boss. Afterwards...*gulp*...

Don't give TOO much away. We don't have the rights, remember?

Yes, sir, Mr. Nintendo. Could...could you move that knife away from my throat now?

No! And don't TELL them who I am!


After Mario returned from his vacation, he saw that New Mario's shame had grown immensely popular--even more popular than his own shames. Thus, he became jealous, and used his position in the Nintendo company to give all the rights to the shame to Square Enix. Then, he gave New Mario a "friendly" high-five to "congratulate him on his success". This was, in fact, a carefully planned assassination on Mario's pa...

Not one more word.



Can I tell them about Square Enix leaving Nintendo?


Anyway, after New Mario died, Square Enix decided that they no longer wanted to work with Nintendo. They packed their bags (and characters) and left. However, Nintendo had already planned a sequel to Super Mario RPG. Since they couldn't get the rights to the actual name, "Super Mario RPG 2", they simply hired another character to play Mario and renamed the shame to "Paper Mario".