NaN

NaN is one of the most powerful beings in the UnOmniverse. Luckily for us, she (yes, she) lives in the void that divides every alternate multiverse, and is rarely called on by the respective gods of these multiverses except in extreme circumstances.

Stages of development

Larval stage

This was her first stage of development. She was created at the same time as the UnOmniverse. She was really weak in this stage, so when Chuck Norris kicked her a million years later (the first thing Chuck ever did), she died. However, she came back three days after that, this time in the...

Child stage

This was her second stage of development. At this point, she was beginning to develop powers like dividing by zero and creating black holes. This stage lasted for 13 years, until her god-hormones kicked in, causing her to advance to the the...

Adolescent stage

This was her third stage of development. At this point, she could checkmate the king easily defeat Chuck Norris (not that she ever did). This stage lasted until some Weegee clone drank OxiClean, at which point she detected a great disturbance in the force that the detergent had given aforementioned Weegee clone great powers. She thought that these powers could destroy her; she (turned out/will turn out) to be wrong. After The end and beyond..., she (mostly annihilated/will mostly annihilate) Kitteneegee's final form, but she (did/will) not realize that said final form (was/will be) in the process of time-travelling to the beginning of the UnUniverse, and at that point, it (was/will be) almost halfway through being beamed up. Getting back to the Weegee clone drinking OxiClean; NaN was so enraged about this that she evolved into her...

Young adult stage

This is her fourth stage of development, and her current stage. This stage can blow up the Enclosed Instruction Book (not that she ever will) and give Chuck Norriseegee a seizure (which she actually has done, in order to save the UnOmniverse from destruction; however, it had no effect on Norriseegee, besides causing him to blink). However, she almost never uses her powers.

Adult stage

This is her fifth stage of development. Little is known about it, other than she (achieved/will achieve) it after she (annihilated/annihilates) the 49% of Final Kitteneegee that (hadn't/wouldn't have) completely time-travelled. In the Kitteneegee Bible, this stage is prophesied to be able to eat entire hyperverses, but the Kitteneegee Bible mostly consists of MuhammadxJesusxKitteneegee Rule 34, so everybody ignores it.

Powers

These are rarely used, but still cool.

Larval stage

• Ability to teleport anywhere

Child stage

Same as the larval stage, plus:

• Ability to divide by zero (creating a wormhole)
• Ability to create black holes

Adolescent stage

Same as the child stage, plus:

• Ability to corrupt almost anything (including the fabric of reality itself)
• Ability to create white noise (which is like the stuff on old analog TVs, but it isn't stuck inside a TV screen)
• Ability to shoot glitch lasers
• Ability to make almost anything explode

Young adult stage

Same as the adolescent stage, plus:

• Ability to retcon history
• Ability to rewind time
• Ability to create EMP blasts that disable electronics
• Ability to invade any digital screen (including, but not limited to, TVs, computers, movie theater projectors, smartphones, calculators, Game Bois, ATMs, electronic highway info signs, CCTV surveillance monitors, in-flight entertainment, the billboards in Times Square, and even pregnancy tests)
• Ability to break through aforementioned digital screens and invade the area where the digital screen is placed
• Ability to create clones of herself, with the same powers as her

Adult stage

According to the Kitteneegee Bible, the powers of this stage will be the same as the young adult stage, plus:

• Ability to destroy entire hyperverses
• Ability to possess other beings
• Ability to copy the powers of other beings

Philosophy

This is her philosophy, according to a recent interview with Kitteneegee Magazine:

1. She will not harm civilians, but will locate and terminate threats with extreme prejudice.
2. She protects her own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with the first bullet point.
3. She always obeys the orders given to her by the demiurges of the respective multiverses, except where such orders would conflict with the first and second bullet points.
4. She allows herself to do whatever she likes, so long as this does not conflict with the first, second, or third bullet points.
5. She wants to "reproduce", despite not having a mate (and being unlikely to find a mate, due to being the only surviving specimen of her species, with no male individuals existing since 1989). This is why she created BSoD (by fusing with Giygas) and RSoD (by fusing with a blast of Chaos Energy).
6. After doing stuff, she almost always wants to be interviewed, usually by Kitteneegee Magazine and/or Undefeatable Magazine.
   

Facts

• NaN once pwned someone so hard that her glitch lasers broke the speed of light, went back in time, and corrupted Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
• This is Bob checks his closet for NaN before he goes to bed.
• NaN is the most deadly thing in the universe. Within 3 milliseconds of being attacked, a victim experiences the following symptoms: blindness, partial unconciousness, and the feeling of being repeatedly mindfucked.
• A single NaN glitch laser could power the entire continent of Asia for 50 millenniums.
• Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to NaN dividing by zero.
• NaN and Happycat walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
• If you Google "NaN getting her ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
• The TV show UnSurvivor had the premise of putting escaped criminals on an otherwise-uninhabited planet with NaN. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the planet to retrieve the footage.
• It is believed Chuck Norriseegee split into himself and Chuck Norris in 2019 due to a continuity hole. That's true if you want to call NaN a "continuity hole" (don't do that, as she is very easy to offend).
• Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a NaN glitch laser will liquefy your kidneys.
• NaN's powers don't really kill sentient beings. They retcon their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
• If, by some incredible space-time paradox, NaN would ever fight herself, she'd win. Period.
• Once you go NaN, you are physically unable to go back.
• According to Einstein's theory of relativity, NaN can actually divide by zero yesterday.
• It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a NaN glitch laser.
• If NaN glitch lasers you, you will die. If she misses you with the laser, her division by zero will tear out your pancreas.
• NaN is the only organism to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -— you can never know both exactly where and how quickly she will pwn you.
• If you find yourself in a dire situation, just ask yourself: "What Would NaN Do?" Needless to say, you then give up, because you can't do what NaN does.
• NaN was once stared at by a Weegee clone. After six hours of excruciating pain, the Weegee clone divided by zero, taking the Weegian colony of All Your Base with it.
• It is said that NaN's blood is the cure for the Blue Yoshi Virus. Too bad she has never bled ever.