|Hair color:||Commonly don’t have any|
|Eye color:||ALWAYS blue. With zooming goggles|
|—Herobrine, gouging his eyes out at the sight of these THINGs...|
Minions are creatures that have been on this planet far longer than we have. They served most their lives for devout evil, but have since recently invaded the Internet and become annoying. All of them are employed by Gru and do """"evil"""" things under his authority.
Minions were created by Satan in order to torment Humanity. He eventually unleashes them to the world in 666 AD, haunting and tormenting man for ages. The Pope in 1376 declared a crusade against the Minion threat. Soon all other religions of the world join in this conflict to fight the minion's threat. Most of the minions were annihilated and were forced into hiding. For the next hundreds years, the Minions were able to regrow. They soon became apart of the Satanist Empire bent on tormenting the UnWorld and creepy Facebook grandma posts for a while. Until sometime.
Herobrine cast a spell that made them GOOD! He was so tired of seeing those minions on Facebook being evil he decided they shalt be made good. Except that made them worse and now are even more prevelent on facebook because good minions are more relatable than bad ones, as being not an butthole is an enjoyable trait. Whoops.
(You can also shoot these things at a fair, that's fun.)
They taste likeand can be prepared and served in almost the same way. However use red wine instead of white wine because of the unwritten rules of white and red meat.