Milk in a sealed acid-proof container.

Cquote1 I WAS BORN IN A COW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cquote2

Milk is a powerful substance that was discovered in 1304. Milk can, unfortunately, be used as a weapon. It was employed by Malleo in the War of the Fire Flower. Today, milk is banned from use as a weapon, as it is just too powerful.


When milk was discovered in 1304 by Professor Kolorado, it caused quite a stir in the UnWorld, puncuated by the fact that milk has nothing to do with archeology. A sample of milk was put on display at several museums and conventions. Later, a minor religious group would form, dedicated to milk.

Military use

After milk was found to be one of the most powerful substances ever discovered, military generals would hold a series of meetings to determine if milk could be used in wars. In 1939, milk came into Malleo's plan for world domination. At the beginning of the War of the Fire Flower in 1950, milk was employed by his army against rebelling ground troops. After a while however, the rebelling Mushroom Kingdom got ahold of some milk and discovered a way to halt its effects. This assisted in the kingdom's fight against Malleo's onslaught.

The end of a weapon


The drinkable version of milk, circa 1966.

When the war ended in 1953, everyone began to wonder if it was a good idea to use milk as a weapon, as it could obliterate more than it was meant to. In 1954, a declaration was signed stating that no army may use milk as a weapon.

Milk as a drinkable substance

Lactaid whole milk

A man about to suffer the side-effects of drinking whole milk.

In 1962, a milk substitute was invented that people could drink. Finally, milk was no longer used unjustly. However, in 1966, there was a case where one man WAS KILLED by drinking milk. The authorities suspected that terrorists had seen an opportunity and taken it by replacing the fake milk with real stuff, and milk was taken off the shelves and replaced with a fresh batch. However, milk was never again quite as popular as it once was.


  • Milk is used in Cookie Clicker and it randomly changes color every once in awhile

See also

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