Giygas working at McDonald's
McDonald's will make you fat/They sell Big Macs/They sell Quarter Pounders/They will put pounds on you!
—Wesley Willis, Rock And Roll McDonald's
McDonald's is a fast food restaurant chain founded and operated by Ronald McDonald, or at least it WAS, before Grimace took over. It is one of the largest fast food chains in the world, with locations in 74 countries. Biased Ratings rated it 3rd in 20 Best Places In The World. They then rated it 4th in 20 Places You Will Die At. McDonald's is currently protected by the McArmy.
Mcdonald's was founded when Ronald McDonald learned he could flip patties better than anyone else in the world. He opened McDonald's. However, he eventually decided not to use patties at all, but a bio-generated foam made to look like a patty. It's toxic, but WHO CARES?
Donald Trump is seen working the freedom fries
After Ronald was shot, The King of Burgers and Wendy teamed up, and somehow owned McDonald's. They crashed it into the ground (literally). Ronald then recovered, and shot them both with his shotgun. The Elmo Gang plans to take control of this Hellish place, but have yet to enact it due to their total lack of organization.
Happy Meal[]
A bunch of Asian kids screaming the heck out of their crap when they heard McDonald's Spongebob Happy Meal talk.
A "Happy Meal" (AKA Unhappy Meal, AKA Crappy Meal, AKA Happy Set) is one of the products McDonald's created. McDonald's Happy Meal was first founded in 1977. When Ronald McDonald decided to brain wash kids, he created the Happy Meal. It is a product from McDonald's created from stuff and crap.
One of the most popular Happy Meal characters is SpongeBob SquarePants, especially in Tokyo. As you can see in the right side of your screen, a bunch of 7-year-olds over-reacted when they heard Spongebob talk.
Happy Meals can really affect your brain. The invention of them is also one of the most evil thing McDonald's had done. Happy Meals are evil so i'm gonna remind you. Don't buy a Happy Meal.
Happy Meal is evil. You see the lady on the picture? She is HAPPY......
Menu[]
| Item | Description | Chance It Will Kill You | Price |
| Burger | Bio-Foam in a bun with tomatoes, pickles and ketchup. Cheese is optional. | 4% without cheese. 10% with cheese. | $5 |
| McDouble | Two Bio-Foam patties in a burger | 7% without cheese. 15% with cheese. | $20 |
| McTriple | Three Bio-Foam patties in a burger | 10% without cheese. 20% with it. | $50 |
| McOverdoingit | Twenty Bio-foam patties in a burger | 43% without cheese. 52% with cheese. | $0.50 |
| Big Mac | A McDouble a hundred times its normal size. | 84% without cheese. 91% with cheese. | $1 |
| Chicken Legend | A long piece of Arsenical Bio-Foam (that's why it's white), dipped in pig fat and breadcrumbs in a bun with plastic lettuce and tomato. | 99.99% | $99.99 |
| McNuggets | A strip of chicken fat boiled, fried, and dipped in poison. | 96% | $10 per nugget. |
| Onion Nuggets | Chicken Nuggets for vegans, it's boiled onion skin that was then deep fried in bread crumbs and latex, they are then served. | 80% each nugget | $5.50 per Nugget |
| Buttermilk Chicken Tenders | Like the McNuggets, but they are bigger and dipped in both Butter and Milk. | 99%
0% if you're Kiba Inuzuka |
$20 per strip. |
| McFries |
A strip of potato fat boiled, fried, and dipped in poison. |
96.1% | $11.99 per stir-fry. |
| An*s Burger | A burger created from anuses of cows and horses. | 90.01% | $9.00 |
| Chicken Salad | A salad made from old chicken, lettuce, and tomatoes. (The only McDonald's health meal in the Unworld. | 1% without poison sauce. 100% with poison sauce. | $5.15 |
| Fillet o' Fish | Stonefish and coelacanth flesh, cheese and mayonnaise in a bun. | 56% because stonefish and coelacanth are poisonous.
100% when a Certain Shark is around. |
$5.00 |
| Fish McBites | Sewage and dead fish sloppily slapped together into a small ball you eat. | 32.5% | $ 6.99 |
McGratin Croquette (Japan only)   |
A burger whose patty is filled with mashed potatoes, macaroni and shrimp, disgusting, even worse is that there is feces (or, "mystery brown sauce") on it. Sasori likes it because it comes with a miku toy | 99.9% | ¥ 5.99 |
| Chicken Strips | Identical to Buttermilk Chicken Tenders, but with fishnets and a really awkward lap dance. | 99% | $50 per strip |
| The Garcello Burger | A hamburger with lettuce, cheese, onions, and 15 cigarettes in between the buns.
Cigarettes have colored smoke, extra fun for the kids.
|
5%, stacking with each burger. | $5 |
| Grilled Onion Cheddar Burger | The classic cheeseburger but with caramelized onions on it.
The healthiest option in the menu.
gotten extremely high amounts of fat and decay in their organs, and have blood constantly spraying from every hole in their body, especially their eyes and genitals. |
95% with medical care
99.99% without care
|
$2 |
| Sammich | It a yummy sammich mmm | 100% x ∞ (Infinite death loop) | $ |
| Mystery Meat Burger. | Crispy buns, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and secret sauce in a burger made from our elusive mystery meat!
|
0% (For the customer) | $1 |
| THE ULTIMATE BURGER | A burger with 10 pounds of beef, horse, chicken and pig. The buns are also 5 pounds each meaning that the burger is 50 pounds. | 0.001% without meat, 100% with meat | All the money you can afford to spend |
| Ice Cream | The only thing that will not kill you. You can never order this because the machines are always broken | 0% | $1.99 |
| Grimace Shake | The only type of ice cream that the perpetually tarnished machines are able to dispense. As of June 29 2023, the Grimace Shakes were pulled from all restaurants after millions of deaths, thousands of lawsuits, and interference from the FDA. The FDA didn't really care about the deaths, but took action after the shake turned into a TikTok trend that annoyed them. The only people who survived drinking it were Hidan and Kakuzu. | 99.99999% | $4.69 |
| Pizza | A basic pizza with ketchup replacing the marinara, American cheese slices replacing the mozzarella, etc. Highly acclaimed by most critics due to the sudden deaths of all detractors via means that are totally unrelated to us as a brand. Mozilla thinks this has to do with Firefox when it doesn't. | 20% per slice | $50 |
| Individually Wrapped Fries | Fries that are all individually wrapped in a thin layer of plastic. Created solely to make the lives of employees even harder. Due to ethical concerns, 0.000000001% of all profits will go to environmental charities. | 20% per microplastic | $1 |
| Chick Nugget | Live baby chicks taken straight out of the local factory farm. Covered in ketchup to both enhance taste and reduce unwanted sympathy from consumers. | 50% | $3 |
| Chick Strip | A stripper that will let you use them for any desire you want. Delivery exclusive to prevent further psychological damage towards families dining in. | 5% | $200 ($300 with Hen Fursuit) |
| A MC LAP DANCE FROM DEIDARE IN THE MAID OUTFIT! | Deidara will give you the most explosive lap dance of your life. | 100% if your name isn't Sasori | 400$
Free if your Sasori |
| THE MIKU MAC! | A Big mac with light blue buns and salmon patties. it comes with a free miku plushie:3. | 100% as the buns dye is made of antifreeze and the patties are raw | 20$ |
| THE MCRIB | It's a tragically reconstructed pork bbq sandwich, and its the only fucking item that doesn't kill you as such it is a seasonal item | 0% | 7$ |
| SHAMROCK SHAKE | Another poisoned shake, but unlike the Grimace Shake it doesn't kill you when you drink it. The shamrock shake instead makes you Irish and makes you do the Irish jig for 30 whole minutes after drinking it; as such it is a seasonal item too. | Turns you into an Irishman | $2.99 |
| The McSalad | It's a salad mixed with steroids and small bits of grilled chicken. This meal is only ordered by the Boxer of The Unbeatables: Anne. | 10% | $1.99 |
Trivia[]
- Right when you enter the restaurant Grimace will fling a Big Mac at you.
- Also, McDonalds is super fattening if you eat this shit for many days in succession.
- The child brainwashing aspect of the Happy Meal is the reason why they're so popular. Children are brainwashed to want more, making their parents buy Happy Meals constantly and giving McDonald's money.
- The happy meal toys are sapient, but cannot move or scream without the customer's input.
- Pork is banned in Middle East (Because they are halal) and there will be no pork in the burgers.
- McDonald's has Zero plans of fixing the ice cream machine. An easy way to fix this is to pull a gun on the workers and demand ice cream.
- Trump is now forcing all McDonald's locations to fix their ice cream machines under the threat of obsidian spheres