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McArmy

McSoldiers standing at attention with their McTank

The McArmy is the standing army owned and operated by McDonald's. It was first created in early 2006 in anticipation of the Burger War. The current commander in chief of the McArmy is Ronald McDonald. With OVER 9000 soldiers currently enlisted and trained, the McArmy is the largest restaurant operated military in the entire UnWorld.

History

Formation

The idea of a restaurant army can be traced back to about four million years ago when the first cavemen decided to start a restaurant. Though the army was defeated by a hungry dinosaur within five minutes of its creation, the idea lived on. In early 2006, The King of Burgers started to gain many followers, so McDonald gathered the fattest customers he could find to act as a human shield. They became the first soldiers of the McArmy we know today.

Burger War

Within four months of its official creation, the Burger War had begun. The King of Burgers had decided to attack a McDonald's building that he had just bought with his own money. The McArmy helped him destroy his own building, and then shot all of the Burger Soldiers that were there. Incidents like this continued for some time.

Eventually Wendy took charge of the operation and actually managed to get some results. McDonald responded by mobilizing his entire military and completely annihilating anything and anyone that stood in his way. Tom the Chocolate Fish stood in his way because he wanted chocolate. He was destroyed. With this act of power and savagery (Tom being an iconic figure at this point), the war quickly drew to a close. The final act of the McAmry was the assassination of the King of Burgers and Wendy in Ronald's own house.

Today

Though the Burger War is over, the McArmy still stands ready to fight should another incident take place. One particular war was narrowly avoided with Taco Bell when it got jealous of the might of McDonald's. Besides that, all the McArmy really does anymore is roll away the fat customers that won't leave.

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