UnAnything Wiki

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Mayonnaise

A picture of Mayonnaise, who is often confused with his son, Gary.

Mayonnaise the Snail is the Great Snail from the beginning of time. He speaks the ancient tongue of the snails constantly chanting "Meow." He may or may not be the lost twin of Gary the Snail

Birth

When God was creating the UnWorld, he made this gross slimy thing called a snail. Since it was so slimy, he named it Mayonnaise. One day, Mayonnaise ate from the Tree of Eternal Life and became immortal. God didn't want an immortal snail, so he decided to kill Mayonnaise. However, Sanic convinced Him to let Mayonnaise live.

Children

Mayonnaise has a wife named Mustard. Mayonnaise and Mustard had lots of kids. Their first child was named Gary the Snail, but Gary was kidnapped by Spongebob, so they had a whole bunch of other kids, such as Turbo and Epona. However, Mayonnaise couldn't keep up with all these kids,mso he hired Vicky to babysit them. No, being the sadistic child torturer that Vicky is, she decided to saw off all of Mayonnaise's kids' feet (that's why snails are so slow).

Vicky

Vicky, the evil babysitter

Appearance

Mayonnaise bears a striking resemblance to his first son, Gary. That is why when Gary was killed by Benson, Mayonnaise took his place as SpongeBob's pet to prevent him from going on a homicidal rampage. Ever since 2013, Mayonnaise has been held captive by Spongebob and Nobody even realized.

In Pop Culture

Mayonnaise has replaced Gary on the documentary Spongebob SquarePants and has appeared in a YouTube Poop by the late 95Shade.

History

Mayonnaise has been around since the beginning of the UnWorld, so he's done waaaay too much stuff to list everything he's accomplished. However, I will provide a shorter list Mayonnaise's major achievements:

  • He founded Babylon
  • He discovered Doritos
  • He said "Meow" before it was cool
  • He forged the "Deal With It" pixel shades
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