UnAnything Wiki

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Luke Skywalker is some awesome guy who runs around with a laser sword, and cuts bad guys in half. He's the one who ultimately ended Freak with the Hood's reign as evil overlord emperor of the Galactic Empire in A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away.

History[]

Luke was born in a dessert because his parents had a sweet tooth. But then his parents DIED because Freak with the Hood killed them. Luke grew up with his aunt and uncle in a desert, and when he was about some age, he ran away after soldiers attacked because he is a spineless coward.

Luke flew to some place, met Darth Vader, who turned out to be his father all along, and killed him. Freak with the Hood came, so Luke killed him too. Luke then declared himself emperor of the galaxy. He ruled for three years, but then The Awesome One kicked Luke in his balls, but his balls were made of steel, so it didn't hurt that much.

Luke, learning from The Awesome One, kicked Grand Admiral Thrawn in the balls, and destroyed the Galactic Empire was destroyed for real this time. Luke then met a woman named Mara Jade, who later gave birth to Ben Skywalker. Sadly, Mara Jade was killed by Darth Caedus (Darth Vader's REAL Grandson), who blamed her death on his master Lumiya. Luke was obviously pissed that his wife DIED, so he sliced Lumiya's head off like a badass.

Luke's Nightmare[]

In the Sequel Trilogy, Luke became a hobo who is alone on an island. Han, Luke, and Leia DIE while Rey Palpatine steals Luke's last name. However, Luke wakes up, revealing that the entire Sequel Trilogy is a nightmare.

Death[]

Many years later, at the age of 82, Luke fought during The Battle of Armageddon, where he kills many villains, but due to his old age, Luke gets a heart attack and DIES. Despite this, Luke returned as a force ghost to watch over his descendant named Cade Skywalker.

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