Lionel Messi is a Argentine (should've been catalonian) Player that play as a right-winger. he's currently plays in burger league MLS Side Inter Miami, where he won the leagues cup and a ham sandwich. he is more known from his time in barcelona for 17 FUCKING YEARS, where he won 4 champions leagues while playing in 3 finals.
History[]
Honestly does not matter because he is not the goat[]
Dark and Twisted Origins[]
He was Born in the Beautiful Slums in Rosário, Argentina, he had a Depressed Childhood, his dad was drunk, his mom was secretly a femboy, his siblings never existed, his english was very bad, he had autism, he was executed from his school, which made his parents abandoned him at 7 years old.
His First Contract[]
Everything was Downhill, until he find a wonderful club called "newell's old boys", When he went to the place and accidentally sign his first academy contract. making him having back his normal life.
Going to Spain[]
At 13, He's Starting to Grow in Football, meaning that he need to go to a bigger club to have more recognition, first he went to real madrid, but left just 1 year later because he said that "madrid is a shit city" so he went to a smaller club called "barcelona" and the rest it's history.
(Nobody cares about him going to PSG)
Trivia[]
- He once Lived in Chapecó, Brazil in 2010.
- He collabed with Kanye West for a Album in 2007.
- He Married Cristiano Ronaldo in 2019.
- Ronaldo wasn't the only Male person to be kissed by messi, marcelo is also kissed by messi.
His Death[]
On April 19th, 2017, on a shame against juventus at camp nou, the team lost the game 3-0 at the first game at the allianz stadium, but the team got worse when pjanic tackles messi, leading to his death. but barcelona president at that time Josep Maria Bartomeu, having nothing to do, decided to bury him on the stadium's pitch and replaced his clone, but his clone wasn't as planned, leading to the club's downfall.
Clubs[]
- Newell's Old Boys (1995–2000)
- Barcelona (Kinda a Long time)
- Paris Saint-German (2021-2023)
- Inter Miami (2023-)
Titles[]
- 1 UnWorld Cup (2022)
- 4 Champions Leagues (2005-06*, 2008-09, 2010-11, 2014-15)
- 10 La Ligas: (2004–05, 2005–06, 2008–09, 2009–10, 2010–11, 2012–13, 2014–15, 2015–16, 2017–18, 2018–19)
- 1 Copa America (2019)
- 8 Ballon D'ors (Not Going to Include the Years)
- A Shit Ton of Throphies that no one cares
Gallery[]
World's Best Penalty
it is placed on a pitch, were you are a goalkepper, and pessi will dives and the stupid referee give it a penalty, he puts up the ball, and kicks a POWERFUL PANEKA, leading you to Death.
World's Best Penalty
it is placed on a pitch, were you are a goalkepper, and pessi will dives and the stupid referee give it a penalty, he puts up the ball, and kicks a POWERFUL PANEKA, leading you to Death.