Link I

Link I? That isn't a hat.

Link I is a warrior who was alive in both BC and AD, but not at the same time. He was the Link that was alive when Hyrule was first being founded by King Dinner. Link I was King Dinner's "helper" because Dinner was not right in the head. Link I was also the commander of the military (King Dinner chose him over the Gum he had considered), and the King's royal adviser.


Link I was born 33 BC. He was born to two elves that lived in the North. This was back when ancient guys ruled the lands. Link I often hung out at the beach. So, when Dinner emerged from the water, they argued about whether or not Link I was a pony. They agreed to disagree, and became friends.

After Hyrule was created, Link I became the royal adviser, leader of the military, and about as in charge as you can be without actually being king. Link I also helped King Dinner tell the difference between Regular Juice and Death Juice, show him how to kill monsters without sticking a sword in himself, and even how to use the bathroom properly.

Link I died during the year 11 AD. He was killed by King Dinner after Link I smacked him and said "Bad king! Quit being such a moron! You don't have toes you idiot!" King Dinner drowned him, and Link I was buried. A zombie climbed out, and people thought this was Link I for several years, but it turns out it was just King Dinner wearing a mask.

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