UnAnything Wiki

What is UnAnything? UnAnything is a humor wiki that's been running for over a decade. Want to edit? Read the rules, because your edits won't be saved unless you follow the instructions within. But if you're just curious about us, you can read the guide. Be sure to also check out our Discord! Have fun!

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UnAnything Wiki
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I am speed

Lightning McQueen

kaCHOWWWW!!!!!!!!

Lightning McQueen whenever he gets exicted

Lightning McQueen (aka 95) is a car who goes fast and promotes the Rust-Eze company like a drunken Phil Swift begging you to buy flex seal of else he’ll beat you up. The UnWorld first saw him in 2006 with a stupid movie about totally sentient cars that didn’t live with humans because in their world all hoomans are dead and is also the face of toy cars in stores that children beg their parents to get them alongside ones with his friends.

So who is this Lightning McQueen?[]

I’m glad you asked. Now contrary to popular belief, Lightning McQueen is not sentient. What actually happens is this: 3 guys actually control him and his every movement, 1 controls his driving and the other controls his eyes. The 3rd one is shoved under the dashboard and held down by rope to control his mouth via a microphone and laptop Did I just start a new Cars theory? and the only reason they ever leave is if A: There's an emergency, B: To drain out pee or C: so they can get some food and drink! He was built to not only try to go faster than Sonic but to also scare people with his looks. I mean, the guys controlling him make it look so realistic you’d think he’s sentient.

Moment that probably killed your childhood out of the way, Lightning McQueen is a racer with the number 95 stamped all across his exterior who can go 318 kmh (198 MPH) and resides in Radiator Springs with all his 4 wheeled gas powered friends. He got sponsored by Rust-Eze in 2007 and decided to go racing. He raced in a thing called the Piston Cup and only won because of his tongue and made a commercial about how Rust-Eze cleans your bumper like, RUST-EZE!!!!! Wow! Look at that shine!

When he’s not racing or shoving Rust-Eze promotions in your face like Phil Swift, he likes to chill in Radiator Springs with all his friends he met almost 17 years ago Goddamn I’m old! and drink gasoline. Don’t worry, he’s a car so this doesn’t kill him! Hell, he even really likes a Porsche (ayo?) and they enjoy going on drives together. Life could be a dream for you, but for Lightning it is his dream to race and have car friends.

Trivia[]

  • KACHOW!!!
  • Lightning McQueen won a race by just his “tongue”.
  • If Lightning McQueen revs his engine near a tractor, tractors will tip over. Tow Mater can also do this if he honks his horn.

RUST-EZE KING

User:

Lightning Mick, Queen of Carsland.

Power:

A

Speed:

A

Range:

AA

Durability:

B+

Precision:

A

Potential:

S

Ability:

RUST-EZE KING allows Lightning McQueen to go on a 6 star Grand Theft Sesame Street rampage without getting in trouble with the law. Oh, and cool music plays because why not?

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