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Kung fuhrer

He's disappointed in you

The Kung Führer is the dude from another UnUniverse, a time traveler, and an UnUniverse hopper... the dude not being Adolf Hitler but the dude being Iris. What's being said is that the sperm that created Iris in the normal dimension just barely beat out the sperm that could have created the Kung Führer. In this parallel UnUniverse, the sperm that won the race was the Kung Führer.

Kung Führer is a master martial artist specializing in kung fu and der führer of the Kung Fazi Party, the ruling uniparty of Deutschfuland. He controls the Kung Fazi Army, the Kung Fazi Economy, the Kung Fazi Propagandi, the Kung Futzstaffel, the Kungestapfu, and the Sturmabteikung (purged).

In this parallel UnWorld, there are three martial artists who control all the land: Ninjesus, Jew Jitsu, and dis dude. Ninjesus is the leader of Jesusland and practitioner of Ninjutsu. Jew Jitsu is the leader of Jewland and practitioner of Jiu Jitsu. Dis dude is the leader of Germland and practitioner of you know what. These guys were the second generation of humans on the parallel UnWorld and all practiced the lost martial arts of Pistol Whip and Halberd Wave. Their father was the Master Pistol Whipper and mother was the Paladin of Halberd Wave. An event led to the parents killing each other and then Jew led Jesus and Germ (his name is Germ) in his own martial art he called Jiu Jitsu. Jesus wanted to improve Jiu Jitsu, so he created Ninjutsu. But Germ wanted to be pagan and create his own perfect martial art and wipe the state clean (foreshadowing) with his Kung Fu. Germ, like the others, renamed himself after his martial art. All of them are rivals in this world and are locked in constant war, physical and spiritual.

The Kung Führer traveled back in time to take photos and videos for propaganda purposes and met his parents. He did not remember what his parents looked like, so it was such a surprise to see that his mother was a hot, tall Asian baddie. He developed an incest fetish after this event. He went to other UnUniverses to gather the different versions of Adolf Hitler and test their strength. He's killed a lot of Hitlers, and he's one of the few not-Hitlers to actually whack a Hitler.

The Germ Man[]

The Kung Führer was born on an UnWorld in a different UnUniverse to his father the Whip Master and his mother the Halberd Paladin the first humans on this UnWorld. He was the third and last of his brothers to be born. His parents taught them the martial arts of Pistol Whip and Halberd Wave. This was a painful process because he had to start when he was 4 years old and his baby bones could barely even handle running half a mile. This guy was the weakest of the babies, so he had to get around that. At 6 years old he used different breathing techniques while running, doing pushups, and other things so his muscles could function after doing half a rep. This didn't help his bones though. Speaking of bones, he was boobfed milck for 6 years, but his bones did not improve. Jew and Jesus only had to suckle for less than 2 years.

For training martial arts, Germ could not work the whip pistol or the halberd the way the parents wanted because he was really weak and could not do the moves at a good enough strength, so he started training on his own to try to find ways to do the same moves with better finesse and follow through. His parents did not want him or his brothers to be doing techniques differently from them, so they punished him by making him do the moves accurately to how they taught it. It annoyed him because he found that his techniques were better than his parents' while hunting animals and he had to always lose while sparring because of how slow he was using his parents' techniques.

The Accident[]

During his teens, Germ's mom and dad got into an argument and then an accident involving a 200 proof alcoholic drank caused an explosion that killed both parents and destroyed all the tools. Everyone was sad, Germ being the least sad. Jew, being the oldest, decided that he would be the one to lead Jesus and Germ in his own martial art using the arms and legs since the parents never taught them how to make a pistol whip or a halberd. He called it Jiu Jitsu.

The Journey Abridged[]

After their parents killed each other, they knew something was missing: Females. They, or Jew (he won the dibs contest), had to populate the planet so they went off to find woman, living off the fat of the land and defeating the horrid and beautiful beasts that roamed the grassy, dusty, snowy, and or jaggedy lands. On their journey for poosay, Jew developed Jiu Jitsu by testing moves on Jesus and Germ. Jew became a master at Jiu Jitsu, so he started calling himself Jew Jitsu. Jesus and Germ also became masters of Jiu Jitsu. On the journey, Jew Jitsu completed his book on Jiu Jitsu called Jiurah.

They finally found a woman and Jew started trying to lay the pipe, but he did not have the risma to get the lady, so he used his superhuman strength to help her with her chores and such, among other things to try and make baby. It was during this time that Germ realized that because he did not know any other human family, this lady was probably his and his brothers' sister. Germ told Jesus this and they both decided to keep this realization from Jew. Jesus was also beginning to think that Jiu Jitsu was incomplete and needed more.

Jesus explained to Jew Jitsu that he knew the Jiurah was incomplete. Jew Jitsu challenged him to a duel to see who was right. Jesus lost, badly, but he continued on to write the second part of the Jiurah in his copy. Germ and Jesus continued the journey, Jesus creating new techniques and adding proper exercises and routines in the second part of the Jiurah. Jesus eventually completed the second part and called the full thing the Wholly Ninjutsu Bible and then started calling himself Ninjesus. Germ followed Ninjesus and became a Ninjutsu master.

The Germ Rises[]

Kung-fuhrer

The yearly posing party (all of the Kung Fazi Party members wear gas masks)

After a very long time, humanity became big enough such that it wouldn't be incestuous if Germ were to scud into a random woman. Humanity formed into societies either following Jiu Jitsu or Ninjutsu; Jew Jitsu or Ninjesus. At this point Jew Jitsu and Ninjesus were busy controlling these societies, Jewland and Jesusland, respectively, to notice that Germ was starting to hate following the boring morals of the books, so he decided to go into to the deadliest wilderness and create a new form of martial art called Kung Fu. He fought roided up cows, bipedal gigatigers, ultrachad crocodiles, and bears with floating body parts just like Hoopa. With this experience and confidence, he was no longer afraid of punishment from his mom, so he entered a Jew Jitsu tournament and showed off his new thing called Kung Fu and went to do the same for a Ninjutsu tournament. He wrote a book called Mein Fu (like the Pokémon), a practical guide that doesn't teach any moral, but instead encourages doing anything you want (as long as it hurts no one else defined by the Kung Führer). Germ then started calling himself the Kung Führer.

And then Mein Fu convinced a bunch of people to follow Kung Fu and the Kung Führer. So, Kung Führer and his dudes created the Kung Fazi Party and the Sturmabteikung to violently take control of a region in Jesusland and call it Deutschfuland. Kung Führer had the Sturmabteikung purged after the creation of Deutschfuland.

The Forever Battle[]

Kung Führer HATES the Jewland police! (where'd he get that gun?)

Jew Jitsu, Ninjesus, and Kung Führer agreed to go meet in the middle of nowhere and discuss stuff. But instead of that, Kung Führer started throwing fists and it turned into a 3-way battle to see which martial art is superior. No one won, so they all went back to their headquarters to do stuff. But a world war between all three factions happened and everyone fights with their bare hands and feet, so it's super cool.

Kung Führer sometimes infiltrates into the other nations to cause terrorisms.

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