- Kowalski, analysis!
- —Skipper to Kowalski
- It appears to be retarded, sir.
- —Kowalski replying to Skipper
Kowalski is an abnormally smart penguin known for being able to give his analysis on just about everything in the Universe, no matter how outlandish, absurd, or stupid. In fact, he's one of the main reasons we have so much information on this site. So go thank him now. He's a member of the Penguins of Number Island.
As said before, Kowalski is insanely smart and probably knows the secrets of the UnOmniverse. However, nobody has been able to track him down for an analysis of the UnOmniverse, we don't know too much on it. Besides that, he's all around a nice guy. Well, that's a guess, actually. Despite all he's contributed to the Wiki, he never actually gave much info on himself, and as said before is very hard to find, so only his fellow penguins really seem to know.
Kowalski was born among two other penguins, Skipper and Rico. Skipper is quite intelligent, but nowhere near Kowalski, and Rico is just straight-up stupid. They eventually found another penguin to join them named Private. They then took up a job as secret agents and do it very well. So well, that Mr. T himself hired these penguins as his secret agents. Although they used to live on an iceberg, they do their work all around the UnWorld.
- He's probably analyzing you right now.
- He's a good friend of Maxwell, since they both gather info for UnAnything.
- He's extremely hard to actually locate, so hardly anyone except for Skipper has actually been able to ask him for analysis. So don't expect to be able to know if you can make a Giant Isopod eat a pineapple anytime soon.