BAH (or wah)
—Koopa
It's a puppy koopa.
A Koopa is a species of turtle that is native to the Mushroom Kingdom and Hyrule. They are highly intelligent, having the best weaponry in the world due to this. He has some surface similarities to, but is in reality a less awesome version of, Bowser. He never liked you.
Unit[]
The Koopa is led by the infamous Koopa King Bowser, the largest and most powerful Koopa in existence. They serve him out of respect, always wanting to please their beloved ruler. He is a coward and when he fights Mario, he hides like some guy watching Justin Beaver while these guys protect him. Koopas have fought in countless wars, including the War of 1812 and World War III.
Lifestyle[]
It would be so cool
Koopas drink tea and eat sandviches. These are their favorite foods, but they also like the flesh of people, so watch out for Koopa or else you will have thy flesh consumed. You can be too safe around a Koopa, though, most of them just do nothing anyways except patrol the mushroom fields eating the grass like some kinda drunk guy. Sometimes, they do dangerous and silly acts simply because "it would be so awesome". Sometimes, you can even hear them whispering to themselves, "it would be so awesome, it would be so cool, it would be the most incredible superhero movie the world has ever seen" over and over again. Scientists are still trying to figure out what this means.
Variations[]
Koopas come in many different types. You've got the basic green variety which everyone's familiar with, but there are more.
Red Koopas[]
I'm gonna go ahead and stand on this here Question Block when Mario comes. Not like I'm gonna fall or anything. I'm, uh, not like you.
—A Red Koopa in conversation with a Green Koopa
Red Koopas are like the traditional Green Koopas, only with the addition of a shred of intelligence to respect where the ground they walk on ends. If they get to the edge of a surface, they use common sense and turn around. This prevents them from falling into pits. However, due to this elevated level of intelligence compared to the Green Koopas, they can act rather impertinent and obtrusive. In other words, they're dicks.
Dry Bones[]
Hol up. This shit sound like Dry Bones.
—Some guy when he heard a sound reminiscent of Dry Bones's "death" sound
You better believe it, folks. Koopas don't even get a break from working for Bowser even when they're reduced to a pile of bones barely able to walk. Even from the lightest touch from Mario, they are known to crumble to bits, only to form back together and take shape when they realise that the rent this month is pretty high. If Bowser isn't paying well enough for the Dry Bones to defend the castle, that's why they can be often seen working the night shifts at your local Wal-Mart, or even Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.
Trivia[]
- Chris Pratt has claimed to have spent hours of his life stomping... them.