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Kongo Bongo Gone Wrongo virions viewed under a microscope, showing clear spike proteins.

Not to be confused with Congo Bongo, the highly infamous rival of Donkey Kong who MAY have spread this virus.

Kongo Bongo Gone Wrongo (KBGW-CoV-1) is a highly dangerous coronavirus (not to be confused with the Coronavirus, says the UnWorld Health Organization) spread by tropical birds. It is endemic to Donkey Kong Country, but has since spread to the entirety of Africa and some of Asia. The disease is commonly considered one of the more lethal ones, but we have survived because we have vaccines for it that are cheap enough for even the residents of Donkey Kong Country to afford. Kongo Bongo Gone Wrongo has been classified as a Class 4 dangerous disease in the Squadala Empire, we have no clue what their rankings mean. Unlike the Coronavirus, however, KBGW is capable of spreading very quickly.

The disease was first discovered in 1678, when a member of the Squadala Army caught it, since everyone was dumb and stupid and had no idea what medicine was, that soldier died. There hasn't been another documented case of Kongo Bongo Gone Wrongo until the founding of Donkey Kong Country, where Dixie Kong got the disease in 2019 and perished a year later, she was revived in 2023, however. In 2014, it was discovered that it is most active during the winter months, the same year a cure was created by some scientist.

Symptoms

NOTE: If you don't care about big explanations scroll down until you find the video of the Kongs giving simple explanations of these.


  • Simple chills
  • An endless stream of snot from one's nostrils
  • Projectile sneezing powerful enough to eject one's spinal column regardless of age
  • Sudden laryngitis
  • Below zero body temperature
  • Leukemia
  • Sudden asthma
  • Pigment mutation, turning one's skin to a sickly green
  • Sudden suicidal thoughts
  • Socks materializing in one's esophagus
  • Other things related to influenza (loss of appetite, fatigue, flushing, vomiting, etc) blown up by 102
  • Coughs powerful enough to cause ear damage
  • And finally, an aneurysm that causes all of one's brain cells to collapse so hard it creates mild heat and light, instantly offing the person who caught the disease


Cranky_Kong_Kongo_Bongo_Gone_Wrongo

Cranky Kong Kongo Bongo Gone Wrongo

The symptoms simplified.

The Cure

" The only cure... is the nectar of a Tin-Banana-Tu! "
  —Cranky

Exactly. You can take the nectar by either eating the banana or putting it in a Shawt and shoving it into your caboose. Each has a problem, however. The Shawt gives ouchies, of course, and the Tin-Banana-Tu tastes like that yucky medicine Your Mom gave you when you were a young lad, so pick your poison.

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