Ko

in the year 1987, a panda will come to earth to punch yo mama

—Cheese Irwin's Head

LOOK OUT! HE'S GOT A GUN

The ruined moon of Endor and its parent planet, a blue Jupiter like gas giant which is also called Endor.

Ko is an evil space panda that kills orphans. He comes to Earth every so often, commits funny crimes and then goes back to space. The only way to defeat him is to throw tiny gold elephants at him, because they make him sneeze and when pandas sneeze, they explode.

Ko owns a giant spaceship called the SS Ko that can warp drive plus carry smaller ships aboard. He also lives on the ruined moon of Endor in the NGC 5907 galaxy, 50 million light years from the Earth. Actually his family is not from Endor, their real homeworld is 100 light years away from the Endor system. When he came to Endor, he killed off most of the Ewok population and the rest became his slaves.

EVIL PANDA THAT END THE WORLD

He is panda

Super PANDA punch god

He is a supa punda

History

His weakness

• He came to Earth in 1987 and punched yo mama in the fay.
• He came to Earth again in 1983 and gunned up a McDonald’s, injuring Everybody inside. Somehow, no one died and all their wounds were identical.

First Crime Spree

• He came back in 2001 and stole the Statue of Liberty (somehow). It was later stolen back by Metagross.
• He came back in 2002 and shot Luke Hemming. Not that I'm complaining or anything.
• He came back in 2003 and shot down a NASA rocket as it was launched. A child then suplexed Ko into an barrel full of tiny gold elephants and shock-sensitive explosive. This was all caught on camera, and the video now has over a billion views. The probe inside was unharmed, and successfully launched in 2004.
• He came back in 2004 and burned down a full-scale replica of the White House with some mannequins that he stole inside.
• He came back in 2005 and ate Typhoon Katrina.
• He came back in 2006 and ate Youtube.
• He came back in 2007 and freed all the animals in the zoo. He then was arrested for 12 months.
• He broke out of prison in 2008 and and shredded Barack Obama's face with a cheese grater.
• He came back in 2009 and shot a ballistic missile at Mount Rushmore, carving his face into it, Elmo and his gang then shot him down.
• He came back again in 2009 and bulldozed down the Spire of Dublin in Ireland, but he then provoked the Irish's ire actually by blowing up a rainbow so that the Leprechauns would live in main Ireland.
• He came back in 2010 cut off Bob Saget's head and threw it in a basketball hoop, but then DIEd.
• He came back in 2011 and peed on Abraham Lincoln's grave.
• He came back in 2012 and nuked China.
• He came back in 2013 and expanded the crack on the liberty bell by one attoparsec.
• He came back in 2014 and sunk a Disney cruise ship that was in port.
• He came back in 2015 and tried to detonate a nuke in Australia but people there stopped him by throwing tiny gold elephants at him. The nuke was confiscated.
• He came back in 2015 again and ate Cheese Irwin
• He came back in 2016 and hired a stingray to kill Steve Irwin.
• He came back in 2016 again but was brutally murdered by Oscar Clark.
• In 2017, he had explosive diarrhea all over the Eiffel Tower. It took 4 hours to wash off, given the tower’s massive size.
• In 2018, he dropped Over 9000 bombs in the Atlantic, causing Hurricane Sara to strengthen into a category 2 over Miami.
• In 2019, he C4ed all of Northern Norway because it's a funny crime, but Thanos fixed it, of course.
• Also in 2019, he suplexed Tierboskat off of Mt. Thor.
• In 2020, he detonated 10 thermonuclear bombs in the Yellowstone caldera, causing massive damage to most of the United States of UnAmerica that required highly trained carpenters to fix.
• In 2021, he began spilling Danimals yogurt all over Montana that made the Boston Molasses Flood look like a puddle. The yogurt got into the Missouri River and turned it pink.
• In 2022, he started disposing bodies in ice cream at the ice cream factory, and nobody ever knew.
• In 2023, he farted in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, causing massive tsunamis.
• In 2024, he destroyed 7 cancer research labs and set the field back by a decade.
• In 2025, he dumped nuclear waste in the Thames, causing London to be evacuated.
• In 2026, he drank the Ogallala Aquifer, causing mass famines throughout the US. The aquifer's depletion led to massive sinkholes of the land above it, where rivers like the Platte and the Arkansas ran. They all ended up in the huge pit and slowly filled it with water, creating a massive lake and flowing out from the opposite side.
• In 2027, he was in the hospital due to bladder and kidney failure from drinking the Ogallala Aquifer.

Second Crime Spree

The SS Ko

• He came back in 2031 after being in a coma for 3.5 years. He gets up from his hospital bed and summons his giant space ship to go to the ocean, where he "relieved" himself of the Ogallala Aquifer, causing massive floodings around the Earth; the acidity of the urine bleached many coral.
• In 2032, he stole a Next-Gen Tubby Bomb from the Teletubbies when they weren’t watching and used it to nuke Australia, fulfilling his dream from 2015 of destroying Australia with a nuke.
• In 2033, he used a kinetic strike on Hans Island because he hated the border between Canada and Denmark there.
• Later that year, he destroyed Denmark by peeing all over it.
• In 2035, he joined the Commonwealth of Neutrals.
• In 2036, he stole Titan TV Man’s Jetpack and blew it up in the Mariana Trench, causing a flood basalt event which caused increased typhoon development. This lead to the worst tsunami in Japan’s history.
• In 2037, he used a giant Om Nom to eat the Sun. Due to the lack of heat, for some reason he and his spaceship (and the slaves onboard) became cryogenically preserved and drifted to the outer solar system.

Third crime spree

In May of 3037, the SS Ko drifted into the inner solar system after being frozen for 1000 years. The powerful gravity of Jupiter, which has a mass 317.71 times larger than Earth, altered the course of the ship as it passed by the planet. The ice that covered the ship began to melt, creating a comet-like tail. Astronomers initially classified it as a comet and named it C/3037 K0, but as more ice melted, they discovered its true nature. The thawing also revived Ko, who had been in cryosleep for a millennium. He regained control of the ship and set it on a collision course with Earth.

• In 3038, he used the SS Ko to kill the hostile and uncontacted Sentinel Island tribe thinking that they were useless.
• In 3039, he went to the planet where wings of fire happens and used the giant magnets on his ship to attract the 3 moons of the planet and force them into colliding with each other, causing a mass extinction but Ko escaped.