WOOOOOOO A.1 A.1!
—Klump on every Steak Saturday
Klump Skurvy is the younger brother of Kaptain Skurvy (who we are just gonna call Skurvy), the dude behind pirate metal's boom and also originally a pillager. Klump never had any love for anything pirate related, he even has all phobias related to bodies of water (including submechanophobia, probably why he didn't go to Didney Wurld yet), yet he was raised in a swampland. Currently, Klump works for King K. Rool all year long, except for during summertime, where he works as a counsellor at Camp Wonky Donkey, which he gets to via private jet.
Klump is probably the best southern Italian Dinosaur, because he is a crocodile type one, and he has the right amount of chromosomes to be normal.
History[]
Early Life[]
If it wasn't obvious enough, Klump Skurvy is Skurvy's brother, therefore, they were both raised in the same area: Bubblegloop Swamp (the place Banjo and Kazooie went to and there was that giant turtle). Since life amongst the mangrove trees was bleak, Klump and Skurvy's father, Francis Skurvy, told them stories of Quint Skurvy, the great great great grandpappy of the boys. Klump was sorta interested, until he heard of Cranky Kong robbing Quint of the Crystal Coconut, a crystal ball that may have magical powers, where in which he just got hopping mad. So at 3:30 AM, Klump tried to bring down Donkey Kong Country by shooting missiles at it. High winds, however, sent the missiles back at the quagmire, burning it down. Thankfully Klump was not exiled, Skurvy was. This is because Skurvy is orange, and fire is too.
Just like his big brother, Klump turned this brownish-pink color as he aged.
Leaving the Bayou[]
Klump was never planning on leaving the swamps, until he began developing various water-related phobias at an alarming rate, and swamps had water, so when he turned 18, he took a funny helmet and ran off... without any other supplies. For the next two years of his life, Klump was running around the murderous continent of Africa, going through the various jungles and savannas and barely avoiding various types of doom. Fed up with the constant running, Klump just decided to move in with his cousins Kutlass and Green Kroc. Klump survived his long hike to his cousins' house, but by the time he got to Somalia, both were mysteriously gone! (They actually just joined Skurvy's kutthroat krew, but Klump never knew this.) Upset that he hiked across Africa for nothing, Klump began to sadly walk around for the next fortnight and a half (i.e, 21 days).
Becoming a Lizard[]
During his usual sulking and walking, a miracle had happened: Klump fell into a 500 feet deep gorge somewhere in Alphabeta! This is a miracle because he was completely unscathed, as he had his helmet on. Just then, King K. Rool was marching around, so he saw Klump, all confused and terrified and stuff. King K. Rool approached Klump and asked if he would like to join the Kremling Krew, Klump decided to do so, as he was getting REALLY SICK OF THE ENDLESS WALKING HE DID EVER SINCE HE LEFT THE SWAMPS. Klump was flung into K. Rool's Kamp's Koncentration Room for a week and came out the perfect candidate for a high ranking general. It didn't last too long at first.
Klump's Lumps: It Was An Actual Event[]
Klump was then told the mission; kill this ape called Donkey Kong. For preparation, Klump decided to show off an exploding barrel for use as a weapon, and he blew himself up. Absolutely flustered that Klump appeared to be dumb, King K. Rool kicked him out. If Klump were to fall in the gorge again K. Rool would unleash his Breadbugs to tear Klump to shreds.
Absolutely down in the dumps, Klump went off to a private jet to fly to some sort of tavern to drink his pains away, thankfully, Skurvy, Kutlass and Green Kroc were all there drinking some grog, and Skurvy was able to stop Klump from drinking himself down the gutter. after being told his situation, Skurvy took Klump out to find a job and let him sleep in his ship's guest cabin.
Finding a new Job[]
Klump really was feeling weak after getting fired, so he wanted an easy job like cleaning tables or being a waiter, but since K. Rool was evil, Skurvy thought he should get an evil job, especially considering this was when Skurvy was evil. Skurvy immediately saw a sign that said the following:
COME ON AND JOIN CAMP WONKY DONKEY AS THE NEWEST COUNSELOR
Teach kids supernatural powers like Face Morphing
Sing some good ol' songs like Leddit Go, a classic!
Thrilling canoeing adventures
Below zero night swims
Kids 100% guaranteed to come out villains
CALL 119-696-969-555-555-555-555-555-555 TODAY!!!
NOTE: Camp Wonky Donkey does not care about the health of your children.
Klump was hesitant, for lotsa water was involved, but Skurvy told him throughout the whole voyage he was surrounded by water. This just put Klump under cardiac arrest briefly. Skurvy made him join anyway.
Making the Klap-Blaster[]
Two days into joining, Klump quickly discovered that fellow counselor I.M. Meen hated clever children, so he decided to help an acquaintance out by creating a gun. He started off by actually making the gun, but he soon discovered there were no bullets in his pouches. Klump went on a dangerous trek into Kremling territory to smuggle some Klaptraps to shoot at goody goodies and eat them. I.M Meen quickly loved the idea, and the two have been fairly close ever since.
Some time after this gun was made, I.M. Meen suggested Klump should try and get back his job and use this counselor job as his summer job. Klump bestowed the courage to walk back to K. Rool's Kamp and possibly persuade himself back on the lizard team by showing off this new gun.
Becoming a Lizard TIMES TWO![]
Klump was very brave going back to the Kamp. he flew his private jet into the Kamp's docking stations and used his newfound weapons to get rid of the Breadbug's blubbery outer layer (tasted bland according to the Klaptraps). Klump successfully got to K. Rool's elevator doohickey and showed off his new weapon by using it on some Sandbags. K. Rool eventually caved in by the fifty-seventh shot fired.
Klump also met Krusha, and they quickly became friends. Klump had also been given a Promotion to commando that can never be fired.
Today[]
Klump is currently running his two jobs, getting some good pay. He became pink with age just like Kaptain Skurvy, and survived the collapse of the Kamp. He is now monitoring the new hideout: Crocodile Isle.
Trivia[]
- Klump's helmet was carved from a giant caveman's golf ball.
- His saliva solidifies around objects he eats, so even paper makes a crunching noise when he bites down.
- For a while there he forgot he had a family.
- Klump had a surgery preformed on him literally out of nowhere, he was not even informed
Klump revealing about the surgery situation when asked in a Q&A, "What was the weirdest thing to happen to you when serving as a general?"
- Klump has piano skills inbetween the suckiness of Fatgirl and the actually good ones of Kaede Akamatsu.
Krack Shot Kroc
Klump pulls out an Panzerfaust 3 loaded with rockets filled with Klaptraps and shoots them everywhere. He then jumps into one of the rockets and shoots himself at the people he is fighting with.
Krack Shot Kroc
Klump pulls out an Panzerfaust 3 loaded with rockets filled with Klaptraps and shoots them everywhere. He then jumps into one of the rockets and shoots himself at the people he is fighting with.