- HE DON'T SCARE ME NONE
- —King Dedede, clobbering that there Kirby out of Dream Land for the 50th time this week
King Dedede is the noble hero of Dream Land that everyone loves. His strength and fatness are unrivaled by any other penguin. Another notable thing about him is that he protects Dream Land from a threat, The Voracious Strawberry Flavored Marshmallow Puffball of Doom from destroying Dream Land. Dedede hates him for that, so every time he gets, he fires that ball of marshmallow into a canyon, saving the day again and again
Dedede's family members are virtually unknown. It can only be assumed they were also penguins, unless Dedede was really just an experiment gone wrong. However, that has yet to be determined. Some think that Dr. Eggman, the world's fattest man, might somehow be behind Dedede's origin.
Dedede lived in the icy planet of the Frost Dimension for most of his life with the other penguins, away from the Jack Frosts. However, he was so fat that he took up most of the room in their village; Dedede was eventually kicked out and exiled from the frost dimension, never to return again and always in their hearts. Later on, Dedede found out that the Waddle Dees wanted to be saved by his ass, and he told some fortune teller that, who just laughed, causing him to eat that stupid n00b in frustration. To hide his tracks, he moved to Bel-Air by taking a cab and yelled to the cabby "You, homes, to bell air." The cabby had no idea what he was talking about, but he got him there. Dedede pulled up to a house about seven or eight and then yelled to the cabby "ah!!!" and was on his way. Dedede then joined up with the Army in an attempt to prepare for the fight against the Demented Cotton Ball. He saved many lives from bombing as he was so fat that his body just blocked everything. But that fame was short-lived as the war ended 5 minutes later as Dedede defeated the opposing troops by sitting on them by accident.
After the war, Dedede left to try and find something else to do. His prayers were answered when he discovered Planet Popstar, home of a bunch of life forms even lower than Toads that he was needing to save. One day he just barged in and asked where that there Kirby was. They trusted the talking penguin the size of an SUV and told him he lived at, what is now called Mt. Dedede. He had gained an army of Waddle Dees, as Dedede was the one prophesied to save them in the ancient texts. They forged Dedede's great mallet he'd need to beat kirby. If Dedede won, he'd be declared a hero if he lived. Dedede knew full-well the dangers of facing Kirby, but he had to do it no matter what.
「DEDEDE」 vs 「KIRBY」
Eventually, Dedede would face the enemy, An evil pink marshmallow. He vowed to protect his citizens from that crooked Kirby and swore that he would get rid of him, no matter how cute he was. This gave him strength for the fight ahead. Dedede approached Kirby, as Dedede was getting closer. He was sucked up half-way by Kirby against his will, he swung his hammer against Kirby's back, freeing himself from the attack. Kirby then flew into the air and turned to stone. He dodged and made quick counter-attack with his hammer, smashing Kirby into a million rock pieces. Dedede was cherished by the Waddle Dee's and he got a Promotion to be the king.
King Dedede then met up with a mysterious masked man after his victory, No not Claus. It was Meta Knight, a dude that spoke with a fake accent. As he was driving along a mountain side with his snail minion, Meta Knight came out of no where like a ninja and kicked Dedede's car off the mountain side. However this was a misunderstanding, Meta Knight thought it was Peter Griffin, a known terrorist of the Bad People.
King Dedede is currently trying to promote his TV channel Channel DDD, which has a ton of high value and Christian TV Shows that most citizens of Dream Land like. They are strangely addictive. Meta Knight once even said, "For a heroic king, this guy's got some funny shtick." He also brought to life a talking snail named Escargoon that talks like Paul Lyde and acts like him, too. Why he did this is not known. However, it was a very stupid thing to do as why would you want a snail that talks like Paul Lyde? Due to this, he often whacks that guy off while sleepwalking.
Dedede is very, very stupid. However, he wields a giant mallet that he uses to smash stuff with. It looks like an ordinary hammer, because it is an ordinary hammer... HEAVILY MODIFIED WITH PRECISION BEARINGS! Another notable thing about him is that he is lazy. He uses Waddle Dee's to carry him everywhere most of the time, including to his own bathroom. However, he has some intelligence, otherwise how else would he have created Escargoon?
Relationships with other people
The two are quite the rivalry, for they both love to eat so much that they will beat each other up for food. Kirby also happens to be the greatest threat to Mr. Dedede's plans.
King Dedede is afraid of him, for his brute strength has enough power to demolish his entire army in less than 9001 seconds.
King Dedede is best friends with Escargoon.
Dedede really hates Meta Knight, however they occasionally play table tennis in Mario's basement.
|Superstar Warrior||King Dedede flies his spaceship at you which explodes, and then cuts you in half with his mallet.|
|CALL OF DUCKY|
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