HE DON'T SCARE ME NONE.
King Dedede is the noble hero of Dream Land that everyone loves. His strength and fatness are unrivaled by any other penguin. Another notable thing about him is that he protects Dream Land from The Voracious Strawberry Flavored Marshmallow Puffball of Doom threat, known to destroy Dream Land. Dedede hates him for that, so every time that there Kirby does the bad thing, he clobbers that ball of marshmallow into a canyon, saving the day again and again. King Dedede also has a daughter named Princess Lalala.
Pre-History
Dedede's family members are virtually unknown. It can only be assumed they were also penguins, unless Dedede was really just an experiment gone wrong. However, that has yet to be determined. Some think that Dr. Eggman, the world's fattest man, might somehow be behind Dedede's origin, however this is unproven. (Yet…)
Early Life
Dedede lived in an icy dimension called the Frost Dimension for most of his life with the other penguins. However, he was so fat that he took up most of the room in their village; Dedede was eventually kicked out and exiled from the village, never to return again (and always in their hearts). They had to airlift him to somewhere else because he couldn't swim due to how fat he was, and also most the islands they tried putting him on sank under his own weight, leading to The Penguin Wars. Later on, Dedede had a dream that the world wanted to be saved by his butt, and told it to a fortune teller who just laughed at him, causing him to eat that stupid n00b.
To hide his tracks, he moved to San Andreas by taking an intergalactic cab and yelled to the cabby "You, homes, to San Andreas." The cabby had no idea what he was saying, but he got him there anyways. Driving to San Andreas they pulled up to a house of about seven or eight inside, because Dedede yelled to the cabby "Ah!!! Stop the car!" before running off the house. He saved many lives that day from a bombing, as he noticed some thug walking in there with C4, and used his fatness to blocked all of the explosion. CJ would give him some Respect in return for his good deed, and his crib was never shot up after that point ever again.
He'd also become the hero the staff of a McDonald's he worked at too one time after he ate the dude who ordered everything off the menu, but after that point had to flee Earth since the FBI were after him for being an alien. Some say it was luck, some say it was chance, but he hopped on a space train to Planet Popstar, as that was the only place in the UnUniverse that was accepting illegal aliens. (He also heard that Planet Popstar had also been needing saving from the light-redded domestic terrorist known as Kirby, one that had a big appetite, one that he could show he was hungrier by eating him as well.)
Dream Land
So out of nowhere one day Dedede just barged into Dream Land from a space train and asked where that there Kirby was, the trouble in terrorist town who'd been terrorizing them for far too long. They trusted the talking penguin the size of an SUV and told him the mountain Kirby lived at. He had gained an army of Waddle Dees, as Dedede was the one prophesied to save them in the ancient texts. They forged Dedede's great mallet he'd need to beat kirby. He knew full-well the dangers of facing Kirby, he saw with his own two eyes Kirby is even hungrier than him, but he had to do it no matter what, because the world was at stake. (Or in this case steak.)
「DEDEDE」vs.「KIRBY」
Eventually, Dedede would face the enemy, an evil pink cotton ball of doom. He vowed to protect his citizens from that crooked Kirby and swore that he would get rid of him, no matter how cute he was. This gave him strength for the fight ahead. Dedede approached Kirby, as Dedede was getting closer. He was sucked up half-way by Kirby against his will, he swung his hammer against Kirby's back, freeing himself from the attack. Kirby then flew into the air and turned to stone. He dodged and made quick counter-attack with his hammer, smashing Kirby into a million rock pieces. Dedede was cherished by the Waddle Dee's and he got a Promotion to be the king. The mountain Kirby lived at was then renamed Mt. Dedede in his honor.
Meta Knight
King Dedede then met up with a mysterious masked man after his victory, No not Claus. It was Meta Knight, a dude that spoke with a fake accent. As he was driving along a mountain side with his snail minion, Meta Knight came out of no where like a ninja and kicked Dedede's car off the mountain side. However this was a misunderstanding, Meta Knight thought it was Peter Griffin, a known terrorist of the Bad People.
Current
King Dedede eventually stopped eating people, is currently trying to promote his TV channel Channel DDD, which has a ton of high value and Christian TV Shows that most citizens of Dream Land like. They are strangely addictive. Meta Knight once even said, "For a heroic king, this guy's got some funny shtick." He also brought to life a talking snail named Escargoon that talks like Paul Lyde and acts like him, too. Why he did this is not known. However, it was a very stupid thing to do as why would you want a snail that talks like Paul Lyde? Due to this, he often whacks that guy off while sleepwalking.
Skills
Whoa! Look at the size of that hammer!
Dedede is very, very stupid. However, he wields a giant mallet that he uses to smash stuff with. It looks like an ordinary hammer, because it is an ordinary hammer... HEAVILY MODIFIED WITH PRECISION BEARINGS! Another notable thing about him is that he is lazy. He uses Waddle Dee's to carry him everywhere most of the time, including to his own bathroom. However, he has some intelligence, otherwise how else would he have created Escargoon?
Relationships
Kirby
The two are quite the rivalry, for they both love to eat so much that they will beat each other up for food. Kirby also happens to be the greatest threat to Mr. Dedede's plans.
Meta Knight
Dedede really hates Meta Knight, however they occasionally play table tennis in Mario's basement.
Escargoon
King Dedede is best friends with Escargoon.
Susie
King Dedede hates Susie, since she invaded Dream Land a couple times.
Lololo
King Dedede has worked with Lololo before, and he's okay with him dating his daughter.
Lalala
King Dedede is Lalala's father, which makes Lalala a princess. They get along very well.
Cyber-Dee
King Dedede is afraid of him, for his brute strength has enough power to demolish his entire army in less than 9001 seconds.
King K. Rool
King K. Rool and Dedede are rivals because the latter thinks he is better solely because he got into Ultimate.
Superstar Warrior
King Dedede flies his spaceship at you which explodes, and then cuts you in half with his mallet.
Superstar Warrior
King Dedede flies his spaceship at you which explodes, and then cuts you in half with his mallet.