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JUICE!!!

BEWARE THE JUICE!!!

JUICE (sometimes alternatively and boringly called juice) is a common SUPER ENERGY DRINK that is made by people who like making things, such as juice, or advanced weaponry. JUICE is common in many parts of the world, though people in the Ducky Empire hate it for some reason (we believe Ducky doesn't like it, and told everyone not to like it).

Tomo Takino really likes JUICE, and will kill for it.

Ingredients

A few hundred years ago, the only ingredient in JUICE was the liquid extracted from any fruit or vegetable. In 1968, scientists concluded this was actually very unhealthy. An act was passed which requires all JUICE to be made of toxic chemicals and dangerous additives and preservatives. This new JUICE was much more popular with the average customer.

SPONGEBOB GIVES YOU SEIZURES!!!

SPONGEBOB GIVES YOU SEIZURES!!!

A common state that the JUICE drinkers may face

Use

JUICE is actually a multi-use object. This means it has more than one use, for you UnIntelligent people out there. The most common use is simply to drink it raw, though this can have many negative side affects. Smart people cook it before they drink it, and this kills the bacteria, and creates new, deadlier bacteria in its place.

JUICE is also used to make a drink called "Rock JUICE", which is where you leave JUICE sitting out for Pi years, and it begins to harden until it feels like you are trying to drink a rock. This process is similar to the creation of Death Juice.

Criticism

Health Affects

JUICE is known for causing seizures, asplosions, or even death whenever drank. Basically, whenever JUICE is drank, people will start finding an entirely new dimension within them. This is dangerous, as the dimension starts to expand until the person asplodes.

The companies that make JUICE deny this, but they are not willing to drink it themselves, and they shoot anyone who tries to prove the danger of JUICE. The Police say that it doesn't really matter, as everyone's going to die eventually, so what difference does it make?

Environmental Harm

This paragraph has been removed, as Nobody cares about the environment.

Prices

Another point people often whine about is the fact that JUICE prices are ridiculous. There is a law that says all JUICE must be sold for $35839068. However, it is only $0.000001 on Mondays, but Nobody can buy it because everybody hates Mondays.

Conclusion

You just wasted your time reading about JUICE.

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