- It itches...
- —Tom about his Iron Butt.
The Iron Butt is an award given to soldiers in most armies who displayed complete idiocy in the battlefield and somehow got damage in their butt. The first Iron Butt was bestowed upon some irrelevant guy back in 736 BC. Since then, many other people have earned this award. Today, it is estimated that there are over 16 people who have received it.
Legend has it that the first Iron Butt was to be given to SpongeBob SquarePants long ago. He was fighting some war that Nobody cares about when he got seriously injured in the rear-end due to idiocy on the part of Sandy Cheeks. SpongeBob was almost given the Iron Butt, but he ran for it and ran back home. He was saved by Coin, Chip, and Used Napkin. After that, it was another four minutes before some other guy was given the Iron Butt.