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UnAnything Wiki
UnAnything Wiki
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Chopper crying meme

Live preformance of the band's song, "Natural".

Imagine Dragons is a band located in idk UnAmerica or something that make music, and not rubber. Every member of the band is a dragon who does not exist, which means they're around 200,000,000,000 years old or something but who the heck cares? (Probably some tiny moron that nobody cares about.) To answer my own question, they do. And it is clear they do because they scream every word they say. Their biggest enemy is Gnasty Gnorc.

Before I go any further, let me preface this by saying that I haven't watched any My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic episodes, so I feel like I'm not inclined to talk about dragons, but at the same time, I don't give a hoo hah.

History[]

Dan Reynolds

An Imagine Dragon manifesting in a humanoid form.

To start off, I want you, yes, you, to imagine a dragon. What comes to your mind? Obviously, they're mostly reptilian creatures, so they have many scales. These scales can be any color, such as black, green, blue, purple, and the like. I usually think of dragons as being red, because there was a red dragon in the famous Nick Jr. show Mike the Knight, famous for having a 4.5/10 on IMDB. That's a good score for kid's show standards because every internet critic only accepts shows that are groundbreaking, thought-provoking, genre-redefining shows like Steven Universe or Don't Lift That Heavy Object! On the topic of that, dragons and Italian Dinosaurs are not the same, so Kaptain Skurvy can not be used as a substitute.

Beyond the scales, dragons also have wings, these let them fly. Of course, some dragons are too fat for that stuff, but that's okay because some people like that stuff. Dragons also have very sharp claws where their toes should be. This is disgusting; they need to file their nails more often. But why file your nails when you can burn them off? Many dragons breathe fire because that is cool. Dragons also have long tails, which do absolutely nothing for them. But they also have big, sharp teeth that they use to grab onto rails while walking down the stairs. The sensation created when they do this on those metal rails in public spaces makes me cringe so much from merely thinking of it, that I want to rip out my own teeth. Somebody, please help! It won't stop!

The most important part about a dragon is that they can vary by region, too. The stuff we just went over right now? That's a European dragon. Other dragon types include North American dragons, which is just Quetzalcoatl and nobody else. Quetzalcoatl has nothing to do with the bird Quetzal, because he has no relation to birds. He's Quetzalcoatl, not Bowser! Asian dragons have very long and wormy bodies, and are able to fly without the need of wings. Quetzalcoatl doesn't need these skin flaps either, but they still draw him with them... sometimes. Asian dragons flying without wings makes no sense whatsoever. They also have what I assume are whiskers on their nose, further playing into Asia's cat obsessed delusions. I can say this stuff without repercussions because I have a cat allergy. I'm immune to your critiques, so COME AT ME BRO!

With all that out of the way, I bet you imagined a really neat dragon. Good job, now that we've imagined a dragon, let's talk about Imagine Dragon's history. It started when a bunch of imagined dragons wanted to form a band, so they did. They yelled a lot in their songs, made Demons, and then got sued by Spyro and Cynder for not being included. That's their entire history. They made their entire discography in the span of a single day.

Squidward

bro sang his heart out 😭😭😭

Squidward

bro sang his heart out 😭😭😭

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