Oh, look at these people. So puny and feeble. Now, look at me, a simple defence attorney. I gotta defend these people, they didn't do the crime, did they?
—Homi
Jihad Thermopylae Hellzel, TurnaboutHomicide, or Homi is a defence attorney who makes sure that his clients are declared Innocent, or else the next case would be about the murder of the Prosecutor who got someone declared guilty. He started out at Buttafuoco Law Offices, then later at Titsman & Co. Law Offices. After getting tired of the terrible names, Homi decided to created his own criminal defence law firm, the Hellzel This Agency.
Beginning his career under Michael Buttafuoco when Homi was 26, he was disbarred at the age of 32 when it was found out Homi used forged evidence given to him by Buttafuoco right before murdering the murderer of the current case Homi was working on. After spending the following seven years as a robloxian-for-hire, he worked at a children's' hospital, where he dressed up as a set of balls for testicular cancer awareness. He worked as a Portable toilet cleaner, where Homi tackled cleaning portable toilets on a daily basis. He then became a Roadkill collector, and was faced with the gruelling task of collecting and disposing of animals that have been struck or killed by vehicles on the road.
At the age of 39, Homi got his Attorney's Badge back and restarted his career as a defence attorney.
Early Life[]
Not much is known, however we do know that Homi was raised by a single father named Judas Spunkmeyer, who was ditched by Homi's mother 0.000001 seconds after giving birth to Homi. Judas, although not wanting to raise someone with a terrible name, decided to raise Homi all by himself.
This did not go well, as Judas is an Ice addict and also someone who gets drunk a lot. Worst of all Judas owns a gun that uses .600 Nitro Express cartridges, and he is not afraid to murder child. Judas was arrested because he photographed himself in murdering children and bragging about his hijinks online. Homi decided to started learning about law and ended up becoming a defence attorney when he was 26, under Michael Buttafuoco.
Career[]
First Case[]
Homi's first case is a fairly simple one, a 62 year old man named Benny Brenner got drunk and started to yell at his son, only to get shot by his 29 year son Brian Brenner with a pistol. After finding out the ballistic markings matched Brian's Beretta M9, Homi almost wanted to give up and Michael tried to get Homi discouraged, however on the final day of the case Homi found a vital piece of evidence that proves some random hobo called Gargo meht Balls. That evidence is actually Brian's internet search history, which proves he was watching porn and finding girls who can come over to his place when Benny was shot and that he was "trying to get laid". Gargo was planning to KILL Benny for 50 years, because Benny called Gargo a bobo at school. Gargo was declared guilty and the rest was history.
Second Case[]
Homi's second case was the most complicated case yet (because its harder than the last one) and the reason is because his client is a 23 Redditor named Geoffrey Hitler (not related to Hitler) who thinks the poopy jean men are after his Reddit Gold. The victim was a 24 year old man named Danny Fats who pooped his jeans while playing Five Nights At Freddy's and screamed at Geoffrey saying that he is the poopy jean man and he demands Reddit Gold. Geoffrey apparently stabbed Danny 28 times, then hit him in the head with a broom and stuck 350 pieces of Lego to his feet. Geoffrey was almost declared guilty, however Homi decided to do a risky move by not making Geoffrey plead self-defence and rather plead Not Guilty, meaning that Homi still needs to find more evidence, but for now Geoffrey is "safe".
The second trial begins a day after the first, and during this time detectives discovered a piece of paper. The piece of paper had a picture of Jim Pickens with googly eyes with the subtitle "Funni". What is more interesting, however, is that Michael Buttafuoco's fingerprints were found on piece of paper. When Homi brought this up 10 minutes before the trial, Michael said that he and the detectives were there at Danny's house yesterday and he touched the piece of paper, dismissing Homi's suspicions. During the trial, it is revealed that someone by the name of Bob Spunkmeyer, actually saw the crime. Homi started the cross examination, and realized that Bob actually DIDN'T see the crime, as he was working at the local McDonald's. After this realization, Homi presented evidence that Michael went to Danny's house BEFORE the investigation. That evidence being the piece of paper, which had a date printed on the back. It turns out, Danny's printer automatically prints the date on the back unless Danny switches that setting off - which he did not. After further investigation, the fingerprint was left on the same day Danny was killed. After recreating the crime sequence, it was determined that Michael came through the window, grabbed the knife on the piece of paper (leaving a fingerprint), then stabbing Danny 28 times. Michael Buttafuoco admits to the crime and then says that his student is indeed quite clever, before swearing his allegiance to ██████, then saying that one day he will have his revenge.
Second Last Case[]
Homi's final real case takes place in North Carolina, February 15th to February 18th, where he decided to take on a case that "no lawyer dares to take". After taking the case of Justin Manson, a 22 year old boot wearing idiot, Homi and Detective Aphelion started investigating a day before the trial. The victim was a 25 year old streamer named Diesel Agnello/OLamdi, who was died of blunt force trauma and a bruised toe. The autopsy report describes the injury as "very hurt"' and was caused by a strike from a table leg. Diesel was found dead at 8:32 pm, when his stalker Billy Bob Johns entered his house to find why the stream is offline. The autopsy reports says that Billy was 30 minutes late, and that all body functions ceased to work at around 8:02 pm.
Billy reported the crime at 8:36 pm, when local kiddie strangler David passed by. David was dumping bodies at the local child dumpster when he heard a deafening scream. He went up to check if any kiddins got strangled, then realized there was a rotting dead body too big to fit in the child dumpster. Billy told David to call the police and the police seems to not care that David is a known child murderer and came anyway. In the house, a broken table was found with blood on a leg and tomato juice on a plate. It was sold by IKEA, so most people thought Diesel was still building it. There was another plate on the table, and on that plate is some crumbs and leftovers. These leftovers appear to be from Diesel's dinner. The back window, and the front window are both opened. Bill came from the front, and so did David, yet the back window is open. Checking the final stream, Homi and Detective Aphelion discovered that the window was visible in Diesel's room, however it is not open.
The current hypophysis is that Diesel was burnt out from speedrunning Minecraft 17/6, opened the window, and then Billy crawled inside and murdered him with the table leg from the IKEA table. However, footprints in the snow reveal that the murder wore boots on that day. The footprints matched Justin, making it more likely he actually did it. Homi, determined to prove his client innocent, tried to find a piece of evidence that will convince people that Billy indeed murdered Diesel. After talking to David about what he was doing at the time, he simply responded with 'doin' thing'. This made David quite sus because he was the local kiddin slapper, but nobody cared to check that so he's off the hook. The trial began on a Tuesday morning, with little to no hope. Billy started the trial with a bang, introducing new evidence.
One of the salaryman that goes over the name Tim was introduced in the aforementioned case to be the brand new witness against Justin. Tim was 8 minutes late, because he forgot where his tie is. Tim describes the incident as 'Tomatoes' and as noticed by Homi in his testimony, he never actually saw the crime, but instead heard 'Tomatoes' and 'Toes'. This struck nobody by surprise because Tim is actually insane. However, despite never stepping foot into Diesel's house, Tim somehow knew tomatoes and toes are involved in the case. Homi suggested the possibility of Tim being the true criminal, however the theory was turned down as Tim was in a office building on the ground muttering 'mincaf spedra'. Justin told Homi that he got his boots recently from a fleeing homeless dude, which turns the finger on the homeless dude, 'but who is the homeless dude?' they pondered.
February 18th, the final Trial began. A recently discovered coat and green beanie was found missing in Diesel's home, however in the stream the coat was there. Detective Aphelion found the coat buried in the snow, and a tie was also left there. It turns out that David had changed the camera footage in the office because there was a dead kid there, and changed it to Tim on the floor. Justin also says that the coat Detective Aphelion found was the same as the one the homeless dude's and all fingers pointed to Tim. A metal piece was also found next to the coat, and it fit perfectly onto Justin's boots, the final puzzle piece. Homi said that Tim was an insane person who killed Diesel for fun. He climbed through the front window, stepped on Diesel's toe with the iron thing on the boots, hit him on the hit with a table leg, then changed into some random hobo outfit. He escaped through the back window, leaving foot prints, and then gave the boots to Justin. Nobody could explain the tomatoes, but the jury agreed and Tim was declared guilty - with Justin safe.