Everything redirects here. If you are a sub then go to Sooubway. If you need a hero, see HERO or Shrek. For a po boy, go see Po and ask her for a bag of chips and see how that turns out. If you are a cuban, go read the article about Minecraft instead. For Rockets, they explode. For a Torpedo go see Tubby Torpedo. If Zeppeli lead you here it's probably because he spelt his name as Zepplin, ask him to spell his name right next time. For Dagwood go see Woodman I'm sure he knows what you're talking about. If Italian sandwiches tickle your fancy I recommend eating Italian pasta Instead. And if, and only if, you wanna see another ridiculously long italic text notice go to Barney.
This is the food in question.
Hoagies (lesser known by their scientific name "Hoagus supremus") is a species of living edible sandwiches that have bad descent. Descending from the horrible Strangus supremus species, it is said that this species is a mutated hybrid of Hippocampus hippocampus and Sandwichus Hagus. Strangus supremus was also created because a specific Hippocampus was doing the thing with a UnUnExistent sandvich that they made, so we can generally assume it all started because of that. Hoagies are a mutated hybrid; this means they have brains and have feelings.
All hoagies have the feelings of the exact Hippocampus they descended from, and are employed because of that. They want to destroy the world by externally creating Gary Stus in factories and giving them to... do something to their Hippocampus leader. No one likes hoagies; not even Captain 15.
History[]
The first ever documentation of Hoagus supremus comes from our wonderful Ancient Geek friend Diogenes. He was walking one day when he suddenly saw a transforming hippocampus quote "doingeth the cumus supremus in thy Randy." (Randy was his pet turtle.) After that, on the next day he suddenly saw the first ever Strangus supremus. He deduced that the gods had cursed him for detesting their wonderful work with science and math, although we all know it's because a Hippocampus did the thing with a turtle.