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Spillednasty.jpg Holy sh*t! This article couldn't be bleached!

This dude spilled our Clorox Bleach and it went down the drain! This will be bad for our stonks.
Hannibal Lecter
Hannibal Lecter. Smells stinky. Mama mia!
Gender: Male
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Blue
Age: 51
UnBirthday: 5/21/68 (not nice..)
Zodiac: ..wat?
Species: Human
Home: A big shack. In the forest.
Alive or Dead?: Alive
Death: Suicide (was revived later for some reason)
Likes: Total cannibalism
Dislikes: Arrest
Education: Unknown
Occupation: co-emperor of the Satanist Empire
Religion: Cannibals!
Known For: He eats people, dummy.
Powers: The total tongue extension so he can eat people.
How They Like Their Steak: Human
Alignment: Neutral Evil
UnRank: -10
Promotion: Himself (considering he's a professional human eater
" When the fox hears the rabbit scream, he comes a-runnin', but not to help :-) "
  —Hannibal Lecter, being the fat crazy ass he is
" I will EAT you, 0! C'mere! "
  —Hannibal Lecter in a rare chance encounter with Captain 0. He was absolutely DUNKED.

Don't make an original fork. That's stupid and dumb. Don't be like Hannibal. Be smart.

Hannibal Lecter is a weird ass cannibal who DEFINITELY is behind everybody else. Once a famed doctor, his reputation was ruined after he was caught eating a homeless man. He first died in jail but was then revived for some reason by Evil Captain 0. He later became a renowned investor, cannibal and Co_Emperor of The Satanist Empire.

Criminal Record

  • Cannibalism
  • Calling someone a poopy head
  • Living in a shack
  • Being clumsy and stupid
  • Being a Satanist
  • And more!


Hannibal Lecter was born to his mother Susan Lecter, along with his good son Christopher Lecter on 5/21/68. His mother always told him, "HANNIBAL, YOU'RE A BIG FAT POOPYHEAD!! WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE YOUR FATHER WHO IS A BORING EMPLOYEE AT SOME BIG PHARMA COMPANY >:(((". When Hannibal grew up, he ate her body for revenge of being made fun of by his mother all the time.

When he grew up, Hannibal was a famed doctor who had many famous customers. This all changed when on one day, he was caught eating the corpse of a homeless man who claimed was "taken in for an experiment", when we all know it was to please his insatiated needs. He was thrown in jail, stripped of all his rights, and died of suicide soon after because he was bored in jail.

He was revived by Evil Captain 0 2 years after his death. He was once part of the Toppats (a stupid clan), but it was so boring there and the The Satanist Empire was SO much better than the Toppats. Because of this, someone has him on his death list.

What he thinks of flatulence.

His days comprise of:

  1. Eat frozen human heads for breakfast (9:30)
  2. Promote crimes online (10:00)
  3. Watch TV (10:30-11:25)
  4. Promote his investments (11:25-11:40)
  5. Become stupid (11:40-12:00)
  6. Do.. stuff. (12:00-8:00)
  7. Watch TV again (8:00-11:00)
  8. Sleep.


As one of the co-emperors of the Satanist Empire, it's actually easy for him to control the Satanists with an iron fist as he doesn't need anything but his voice to have people follow his orders. He also invests in.. things. Best I can explain it.


  • He owns his very own house. It's a large shack in a forest.
  • He likes The Daily Coffee, and wants to invest in it. It's new though, so he can't invest in it yet.