I am The Grand Canyon
—The Grand Canyon
A single soldier is protecting the canyon against arson, as even the river is flammable. His DM's are open btw.
The Grand Canyon is a deadly location in the United States of UnAmerica that many people have been thrown off of, jumped into, or just plain old tripped into the canyon. It's said the grand canyon contains a rift into Hell and that's why you cant see anything at the bottom of it, but it's most likely a bunch of blatant lies.
It has a K/D ratio of at least two, if you were pushed off of it, you would DIE, so please don't try climbing it, or going near the edge, or pushing other people off the edge, or pushing yourself off the edge, or getting pushed off the edge, if you get pushed off the edge, well goodbye I guess, your pretty much doomed.
History[]
The grand canyon started to form a few million years ago, when something happened, presumably from Scrat's acorn, and started to widen. It was ignored for the next millions of years, since nobody cared about the giant rift, until 1919, where some randoms decided to make it a national park. This proved to be a bad idea, as many people died in the grand canyon from falling off, then rails where installed, and deaths from tripping off and dying decreased by 2%. But more stupid adventurous people climbed off the rails, and there was nothing the staff could do about that, so they installed signs telling people to jump off the grand canyon.
The history channel also made an episode on The Grand Canyon. It is considered lost media, however, the final paragraph of it's script has survived:
In a stunning turn of events, the enigmatic number 10 has emerged from the shadowy depths of numerical obscurity to claim responsibility for the creation of the awe-inspiring Grand Canyon. Historians were left dumbfounded when ancient manuscripts, believed to be penned by Pythagoras himself, revealed that 10 was not just an innocent bystander in the world of mathematics but a mastermind behind geological marvels. According to these ancient texts, 10 harnessed the powers of multiplication and division to shape the very landscape of the American Southwest. With its trusty sidekick, the elusive number 6, 10 orchestrated a series of mathematical maneuvers that caused the earth to tremble and fissures to open up, birthing the majestic Grand Canyon. As this mind-boggling revelation ripples through the scientific community, mathematicians worldwide are scratching their heads in disbelief, wondering what other feats this numerical prodigy has accomplished. It seems that 10 has long been pulling the strings, slyly disguising itself as a mere integer, all while engineering geological wonders that leave us in awe. So, the next time you gaze upon the breathtaking vistas of the Grand Canyon, remember to pay homage to the unsung hero behind it all, the number 10, forever etched in the annals of numerical mythology.
—The History Channel
Today, there's a recorded death total of two billion, one hundred forty-seven million, four hundred eighty-three thousand, and six hundred forty-seven people. (Actually scratch that their computers are old and can't count any higher than the 32-bit limit. It's way higher than this).
Notable People who Fell into the Grand Canyon[]
Trivia[]
- It's called the grand canyon because it is grand. Grand comes from the Latin word Grandis which means GRAND!
- This canyon has no association with Grand Dad, 7 GRAND DAD, nor the Fleenstons.