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UnAnything Wiki
UnAnything Wiki
Gatling Groink
Gatling Groink.png
You might as well commit suicide when it comes for you.
Scientific name: Megaplod calibersi
Hair color: None
Eye color: Just plain black
Habitat: Moist areas
Natural range: Bikini Bottom
Time alive: 3608 AD - The end and beyond...
Size: 7.5 ft tall
Weight: 200 lbs.
Edible? I guess...
Tastes like: Ashes
Preys on: Whatever it feels like
Is preyed upon by: M4 Sherman
Intelligence: No, just thinks with instinct.
Conservation status: Common
Powers: Being a living war machine
UnRank: 6000
" Oh god Louie let's make like a Pikmin and leave! "
  —Olimar when he sees a Gatling Groink
" What does Groink mean? "
  —The Guy Who Asks Too Many Questions on Gatling Groinks
" Whoa! "
  —Crash Bandicoot on the Gatling Groink

Gatling Groinks, guardians of Bikini Bottom, are pretty scary fish monsters created to, "keep the peace" in Bikini Bottom after being rebuilt from that nuke, but since Bikini Bottom is a screwed-up ghetto town, it just shoots people who try to abide actual laws. The only passing reference of them being good is keeping Bikini Bottom safe from outside attacks, which wasn't even that needed since Bikini Bottom surviving was somewhat of a secret.

Gatling Groinks basically walk up and down the ruined streets of this lost city, when they choose to ruin somebody's day, they go off and find some doof and spin their tail a few times, and then reveal their mouths... which are ACTUAL GATLING GUNS! They shoot the person until they aren't even a hole in the ground, and then file a pothole complaint. It's just this every night. One can even say Bikini Bottom is better off without them.

Gatling Groinks have a windshield, but it's kinda useless as their eyes are on the side of their heads. Gatling Groinks are useful for one thing, however: unlike that dumb Armight they can stop Quadgun attacks. Your only hope of stopping Gatling Groinks is grabbing hold of their tails, if they don't spin it tricks the Groink into thinking it cannot spit bullets so it just goes up in an asplosion. Bring it to your Pikmin so that they can dispose of it's corpse before the bolted behemoth realizes it's not actually dead.


Shower Room - Pikmin 2

The song that plays when a Gatling Groink spots you.

Some psychopath is also working on a subspecies called the Fireflinger Groink, which spits fireballs so hot they don't die out in water. Basically, don't even think of going to that one area in the Pacific, especially considering they can go on land...

The fabled Fireflinger Groink... Nothing left but to RUN LIKE PEPPINO!!!!!


  • Being bio-mechanical and scary, one was a member of the Scary Robots Gang, but left because of the seafood pizza Freddy Fazbear made to attract a Bottom Feeder. Now no Gatling Groinks will go near any member, one could say THEY fear the Scary Robots Gang!
  • It is said they were made in the likeness of former mayor Darwin Watterson... They didn't translate his looks all too well.
  • The Teletubbies are making their own spin-off of which shoots Tubby Custard! It is apparently close to completion.