Gaston is a badass dude who loves kicking butts and hunting. He is second-in-command dude in France. Only Frollo has more french power.

How strangely familiar...


Gaston was born in a stupid little french family. His father was beating him up every morning to make Gaston large. Gaston started eating eggs in numbers dangerous for human being and reached the power level of 8000. Next years Gaston was beating up his father every morning to make himself larger.

Gaston was beating everybody up in college. He even beat Frollo but was burned down. Gaston was failing every exam possible, even sport ones. It took 14 years for Gaston to achieve something in science.

During WWII Gaston wanted to join French Foreign Legion but joined Wehrmacht instead because he didn't know how to read. He noticed his error when he couldn't ask his obergruppenführer where's the bathroom. He escaped but joined Soviet Army this time.

After WWII he created a pub in Paris where he had many epic parties until Frollo burned down all the Paris again. Gaston came to Frollo and kicked his arse. Frollo rebuilt Gaston's pub and made him the second greatest face in France.

He also fought in the 2nd Ducky War, as the only combatant, proving NO ONE fights like Gaston.


  • Gaston is one of the strongest non-God human beings. During his life he personally beat enough people to make Gamelon a lifeless place.
  • He posesses the only automatic musket in the world.
  • No one fights like Gaston
  • Douses lights like Gaston
  • In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
  • For there's no one as burly and brawny
  • As you see he's got biceps to spare
  • Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
  • Every last inch of him is covered with hair
  • No one hits like Gaston
  • Matches wits like Gaston
  • In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
  • No one's been like Gaston
  • No one's been a king pin like Gaston
  • No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
  • When he was a lad, he ate 4 dozen eggs, every morning to help him get large.
  • Now that he's grown he ate 5000 eggs, so he's roughly the size of a BAAAARGE!!!
  • No one shoots like Gaston
  • No one makes those beauts like Gaston
  • No one goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
  • He uses antlers in all of his decorating
  • No one's slick as Gaston
  • No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
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