Oh dear... was this a brutal event. So brutal, in fact, that it can only be said in caps. The GREAT ISOPOD INVASION, or war, was when the Giant Isopods launched an all-out assault on Alol- um, I mean stop calling it aloha I swear to god it is called Hawaii.
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Origins
The GREAT ISOPOD INVASION had peculiar beginnings, to say the least. It all began when a Giant Isopod so happened to be looking for the cutest being ever. Giant Isopods, as we all know, are incredibly ugly, so hardly anything makes them go, "Awwwww". The next candidate was a... fairy... thing known as Lip. Lip had just finished making another episode of her show, so she had the time to meet this crustacean.
When the Isopod met Lip at a palace on Melemele Island, not even her cuteness could be perceived by the bug. Okay, a little. Due to being the first ever entity that the Isopod ever found "cute", it presented her with the greatest gift an Isopod could ever offer: a bag of Doritos. She took a chip, bit into it, and immediately spit it out in disgust, screaming, "This is the worst thing I've ever tasted!"
The Isopod as you could expect, was offended. Really offended. Extremely insulted. So much, in fact, that he went straight out of the throne room, and returned to the Isopod Dimension.
Soon after, the Isopod came to meet with their king, King Isopod. After telling him about the events on Melemele, King Isopod was NOT AMUSED. He promptly declared war on Hawaii, vowing to destroy each and every bit of the islands to show the UnUniverse that nobody insults Doritos and gets away with it. Except Undefeatables.
The Invasion
Melemele Ambush
By this time King Isopod was already making plans on his invasion. He had the advantage, since it was impossible for Hawaii to invade the Isopod Dimension and he could deploy his units anywhere he wanted. Since he declared war so recently, he figured Hawaii might not even know about the war, and he planned to take advantage of this, sending 8% of all his Isopods (that's still a LOT of Isopods) to the place of the insult, the Palace on Melemele.
Lip did in fact know about the declaration of war, but she had no time to prepare. Giant Isopods were already erupting from the ground of the palace through the use of the King's trans-dimensional teleportation machine. Lip immediately ordered the locals to defend themselves, but they couldn't do much due to the ambush, especially since they were cornered from the inside. The locals had Pokemon to help them, but Melemele had a serious lack of Fire-types, so they could barely make a dent in the heavy artillery Isopods. Melemele also had no access to the Face Masks signature of Arlen specifically for protection against Isopods. So Isopods were constantly on everyone's faces, with no way to get them off.
Just when the last of the natives were about to have their faces eaten off, a hidden volcano under Melemele exploded from the violence upstairs. It indeed killed off the last of the natives on Melemele, but the Isopods soon realized they too would be charred if they didn't get out. They fled to the water before the entire island became a mess of hot lava. It was a huge victory for King Isopod, completely wiping out life on Melemele, but it came at the cost of 3% of Isopods sent killed by natives and 19% by the volcano. It was now time for Lip to fight back...
Battle of Dorito Rock
While I acknowledge that this is called the "Battle of Dorito Rock", the so called rock actually looks nothing like a Dorito. The Isopods just call it that because they like Doritos, and we're not getting in a fight with them over something so pointless.
Anyway, King Isopod's next plan was to invade Alola in an area he code-named "Dorito Rock", at the area on Poni Island known as Poni Breaker Coast. And once again, King Isopod opened a wormhole underwater at Dorito Rock, this time sending 5% of his Isopods. Meanwhile, Lip was assembling her own military. She had the natives gather up all the Fire, Flying, and Rock type Pokemon, since she figured those would help the most. After creating 4 squadrons, code-named "Captain 0", "AkaRed", "Shaggy Rogers", and "Thanos", each third of these squadrons consisting of one type, she now needed to figure out where the Isopods would come from. Her idea; recall the forbidden leader, Eevee.
After learning of Eevee's revival and summoning her, Lip held up the scorched shed of an Isopod from the volcano and had Eevee sniff it. After asking her to reveal the biggest source of Isopod scent on Hawaii, she revealed it to be Poni Breaker Coast with the condition of ruling Hawaii once the war was over. Lip reluctantly agreed, as she'd rather a ruined Hawaii than no Hawaii. Eevee gathered her own troops which would secretly keep watch over the battle. And so, Lip sent Squadron "AkaRed" to deal with the Isopods while Eevee's Squadron sneaked out of view.
Hawaii put up a much better fight this time. The Fire types barely made a dent, as the Isopods were smart enough to stay in the water and lure their enemies in. The Rock types could only attack from distances. But the Flying types could easily dive in the water and snag Isopods from the water. But soon they started getting hit by rocks, and they went down quick. Thinking the coast was clear, the Rock types plunged into the water, only to realize they were weak to water. So they died quickly too.
However, the Isopods thought it was safe and came ashore, where most of them were incinerated by the Fire types. They knew they had to try something different, so they surrounded the island, keeping themselves as damp as possible, Then, in an Anaconda strategy, they struck.The Fire types couldn't compete with this, and they were wiped out, once again, by being cornered into water. They knew they would die, though and made a last ditch effort, taking out immeasurable numbers of Isopods, 69% of all sent in, to be exact, but not before the island was wrecked. King Isopod realized he would need some help in destroying the isles. So he developed a new plan...
Destruction of Akala
King Isopod was plenty surprised by how well the "AkaRed" squadron held up. Despite his already good chances of winning, King Isopod wanted to be sure of his victory. He needed to recruit someone... which is when he found The Destroyer. This sounded promising because c'mon, look at his name! King Isopod made a deal with this worm, to help his troops destroy Akala in exchange for King Isopod killing The King (not THAT king... he eats too much DINNER to die). Obviously, he accepted. After killing The King (too bad he respawned), The Destroyer, along with another 10% of Giant Isopods were sent via trans-dimensional portal to Akala.
Lip had Eevee sniff out the next area of attack, and located it to be Maui/Akala. Eevee also picked up a second foreign, metallic scent, but nobody listened to her, and Lip sent Squadron "Thanos" to Maui, along with Eevee and her spies. They were not prepared in the least bit for the horror that awaited them. This time, the Isopods dared to come out of the water, and the front ranks had a fun time easily killing the Isopods. Well, until they were crushed by The Destroyer. I should've given you a good idea of how big The Destroyer is. He's 50 ft wide and several miles long. Scared yet?
Terrified by how big this monstrosity was, Squadron "Thanos" immediately started retreating, relocating to Kahoolawe. King Isopod's troops were completely allowed to ravage Maui in an act of appeasement, hoping they would stop there. Were they disappointed. After making sure the last of Maui had sunk into the waves, all the Isopods climbed onto The Destroyer and followed Squadron "Thanos" right to the next island! Meanwhile, Eevee's spies were the only one's that stuck around in retreat. After King Isopod's troops left, Eevee noticed a wormhole that the Isopods left behind unguarded. Without hesitation, she and her spies jumped in to see where it led...
Back on Kahoot Island, the Fire types of Squadron "Thanos", along with the natives, stayed behind while the Rock and Flying types fled in an attempt to defeat The Destroyer. Due to their lack of attention to the Isopods themselves, they latched on to just about everyone's faces. Now oblivious to their surroundings, they had trouble perceiving The Destroyer coming out of the ground every so often and pwning hundreds at once digging back into the ground. His Probes and Lasers also fried the non-Fire types, which were already gone at this point. Taking out the rest of the natives was easy now, and soon after Kahoot collapsed as well.
It still wasn't over, though. King Isopod's troops followed the Squadron AGAIN to Lanai. The Flying-types were tiring, and they had to leave behind the Rock-types. They helplessly died, with the natives of Lanai, while The Destroyer sunk Lanai and the Isopods climbed onto him, to their last stop, Molkokai. The Flying types couldn't even fly anymore, and they died with the natives as well, as the last island crumbled apart. It could not possibly have gone better for King Isopod. Melemele was covered in lava and Poni was still recovering, but Akala was COMPLETELY GONE. However, his rations were soon about to take a huge blow...
Factory Demolition
When Eevee and her spies emerged from the portal, they found themselves in a giant sea basin with Isopods everywhere. Most of them were eating Doritos. The entire place was underwater. They had found the Isopod Dimension. Eevee then evolved into a Vaporeon to breathe underwater and created a bubble so her spies could, too. They turned and saw something truly incredible. There was a giant complex at least the size of one of the Hawaiian islands. This was the fabled Isopodian Dorito Factory, the largest one in the UnMultiverse.
Eevee immediately knew what she had to do. She and her spies entered the factory. Doritos were everywhere. This was their production site. At once Eevee's Squadron began destroying all the machines in the factory, immediately stopping Dorito production. This was about when King Isopod took notice. Extremely pissed off, he ordered his Isopods to kill the intruders. Eevee and her spies fled at this point, destroying more of the complex. The foundations and walls were starting to crumble, and pieces started falling apart.
Finally moving away from the factory, Eevee's spies spotted the portal and swam towards it. But then the factory blew up in a massive explosion, and chunks of concrete were flying everywhere. Eevee herself got hit by concrete right in front of the portal, bursting the bubble and trapping her. The spies at first tried to help her out, but they saw the Isopods catching up, now armed with AK-47s, and they realized that if they stayed here they would drown. They were forced to leave behind Eevee, who was repeatedly shot and then eaten. This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.
The spies returned to Lip and told her the news. She was overjoyed. Not only was the Isopods' main food source severely limited, she no longer had to worry about Eevee ruling Alola! This drastically boosted her confidence of winning. However, it wasn't quite over yet. King Isopod was spitting and screaming all sorts of curses in his throne room, his main supply of food gone. He wanted to make them suffer, and he would do anything to make it happen...
Final Stand on Ula'Ula
Up on Undefeatable Palace, Penn Jilette was conflicted. He wanted to get involved in the war himself, for the petty reason of simply hating Doritos, and wanted to put King Isopod in his place. Chuck Norris warned him against this, saying that he shouldn't interfere in the stupid conflicts of non-Undefeatables, and if he did, he would suffer the ultimate punishment. Penn Jilette listened... for a while. Meanwhile, King Isopod wanted to be sure of this victory. He sent The Destroyer once again, as well as 40% of his Isopods, a supremely ridiculous number. He was right in that Lip would put up her hardest fight yet.
Squadrons "Captain 0" and "Shaggy Rogers" were assigned to defend the last island left, Ula'Ula. She would go in a defensive position, knowing the Isopods wouldn't last forever without their rations. The Destroyer was the real problem. Lip had nothing against a giant robot worm. She decided she was just going to throw everything she had at the Isopods, even the natives. Suddenly, the Island Guardians finally appeared. They didn't do much before since they assumed the Isopods had peaceful intentions (stupid) but they knew it was time to fight back. The two Dimension Guardians came as well, also to protect. And so Lip sent her gigantic defense.
Thanks to the presence of the Legendaries of Alola, taking out the Isopods was easy. Huge numbers were taken out quick. But in their eagerness to sweep the Isopods, they forgot about The Destroyer. He focused his attacks on the Island Guardians first, killing them with ease. This made everyone's attention turn towards The Destroyer, leaving the Isopods to wreak havoc, taking many natives. Finally, Penn Jilette couldn't stand it anymore. He flew down from the palace and charged energy. In releasing it, he effortlessly killed The Destroyer in a massive explosion, and shrapnel flew everywhere (He respawned later). Both sides suffered heavy losses from the blast.
He proceeded to mercilessly slaughter Isopods everywhere. The Dimension Guardians, still surviving, had a much easier time now. Part of the two Squadrons and even a few natives were left. And even past all that, the Fish Union, who helped Hawaii by sending supplies, which helped them in another war, had finally sent their own troops. They all killed the Isopods easily, and there was nothing they could do. They called retreat, sinking below the depths returning to the Isopod Dimension. Lip had done it. She defended Hawaii. The Giant Isopods were no longer a threat.
Chuck Norris was in shock at Penn Jilette defying his orders. Not only did he defy Chuck Norris, he was threatened extra! Chuck Norris called NaN and proceeded to roundhouse kick Penn Jilette, a split-second later NaN firing a glitch laser killing Penn Jilette, who despite being an Upper-class Undefeatable couldn't possibly survive those two forces combined. It was so powerful that all traces of Penn Jilette were wiped from the digital databases of all time. This is why Penn Jilette is the only Undefeatable with a red link.
The Aftermath
The GREAT ISOPOD INVASION had a wide-lasting effect everywhere. Despite winning the battle, Hawaii was severely crippled. Melemele was smothered in hot lava. Akala was removed from existence. Ula'Ula suffered the least, but still was ravaged. Poni had chunks torn out of it. Eevee had also died for good. Lip had to become the ruler of Hawaii for some more time to rebuild everything, and currently is still working. She hopes to return to her show once again after Hawaii is restored.
As bad as Hawaii had it, it was even worse in the Isopod Dimension. The Isopodian Dorito Factory was completely destroyed, and over half of the population of Isopods that used to live here had died in the war. This meant that while King Isopod and many others had to rebuild the complex, they couldn't even send as many Isopods to fetch Doritos from UnEarth. The Dorito factory has almost been rebuilt, and King Isopod is attempting to rebuild the population.
The Undefeatables had also lost an Upper League member. Eventually, though, they found a replacement in Silhouette. As for The Destroyer, he respawned and continued minding his own business and destroying crap.
All in all, it was truly a vicious war. Not much could amount to the carnage between this time. But as horrible as it was, it was an important event, for some of Eevee's spies would be called upon again in even more events...
Trivia
- The Fish Union was tempted to get involved in this war, due to Hawaii helping them out in another war less than a century ago, but didn't want further losses. They would send supplies to Hawaii without fighting directly, until the last stage.
- The Penguins of Number Island were among Eevee's spies, despite fighting against Hawaii in the Fish War.