- Not to be confused with Freddy Fazbear or Freaky Fred.
Freddy Freaker is a being of an alien species thought to be long extinct. While the Freaks were once an all powerful space military force feared by many, Freddy now makes appearances in low budget TV commercials to make money. Freddy was involved in a horrible space-bike accident as a teenager and is unable to extend his elbows and has overall limited motion. Freddy can only be contacted with the Freak Phone.
Biography[]
Birth & Early Childhood[]
On the planet Freakazoid of the Ooey Gooey Galaxy, Freddy was born into a wealthy Freak family. At the time of Freddy's birth there was great conflict brewing among the Freaks. Freddy lived out his early days in comfort. He made many childhood friends and attended his local school.
The Freak Civil War[]
By the age of 7 Freddy was drafted into the Freak Civil War. There Freddy would see unimaginable horrors that haunt him to this day. On a mission in Freaketnam, Freddy lost his childhood friend, Danyel Kreaker, when he was hit by enemy fire. Danyel's bones scattered across the ground, and Freddy collected and carried Danyel's corpse back to camp in order to give him a proper burial. When Freddy was 10 he was sent on a space mission to attack an enemy space station. While Freddy was successful in destroying the enemy base, when he returned to Freakazoid he discovered that an all-out nuclear war had completely wiped out his species.
A gaggle of Zonkaloids.
The Zonkaloids[]
Lost and alone, Freddy sought companionship, and so he traveled through the universe in search of friends. Freddy had many adventures on his journey through space. Along the way he made a pact with Hitler's clone, Evil Gorilla, Thaños (known as "Big T" at the time), louie, ꙮ, and formed The Zonkaloids, a space biker gang that would become feared and respected by many across the universe. According to Freddy, the name "Zonkaloid" is derived from an animal species native to Freakazoid, and could turn to dust if you looked them in the eyes.
Education[]
While Freddy has only a first grade education and military training, his street smarts are unrivaled. He is known to have once rustled several donuts out of a gang with his wits alone, though this could just be a tall tale.
Freddy's Space Biker Gang[]
Freddy founded the Zonkaloids following the event which shall not be described, which is termed by many for some reason as "The Day Of Sadness" out of a desire to right what the multiverse has wronged. In his adventures across space, he made friends and enemies that would come to be a very prominent part of what is known as "Freaker Lore", but shall not be entirely explored here for the sake of focusing on Freddy.
An artist's rendition of Freddy Freaker's fearsome bike.
Freddy's Bike[]
Freddy's bike is a wide 2x4 piece of plywood covered with four inches of space tape (which is duct tape but WAY cooler). His handlebars are made from the leftover bones of his childhood friend Danyel Kreaker that made up his quadruple-jointed arms (they wouldn't fit in the grave). Etched onto each bone on the left side is the phrase, "Live Laugh Love." On the other side, the phrase etched onto the bones is "Die Cry Hate." The bike has a hood ornament of Alan Dracula from the cartoon Infinity Train. Each handlebar contains several rubber band cannons that shoot at lightning speed and target anyone within a fifteen mile radius. It has no pedals. No one knows how he used it.
Freddy's Bike Accident (The Arm Wreckage)[]
On a fateful day, once good friend and associate Thaños had a really crappy day after his favorite tv show, "Grey's Anatomy", was cancelled. When Freddy got them ready for a raid, he called out, "Let's roll out, muchachos!" which deeply offended and angered Thaños to his breaking point. After a successful raid on Bowser's Castle, Thaños was still fuming. He placed a photograph of Danyel Kreaker on the back of his own bike, which caught the attention of Freddy as he tried to reach out for his long lost friend. Just then, Thaños did a sick front wheelie. He will later go on to say he did this to "help Freddy see his friend better", but it was actually to get Freddy in the right position for his arms to get caught in the spokes somehow and permanently grind his bones into dust.
Freddy was rushed to space hospital (aka the spospital), where doctors sucked the bone dust out of his sockets and put them in a jar for him to keep. They then replaced his bones with pvc pipe because the economy was in shambles and they didn't have the necessary replacements. Due to this whole incident, Freddy Freaker's arms are now immobile and his arms now stretch outward indefinitely. Contrary to popular belief doesn't suffer from PTSD from this incident because he has a mind of steel. He does however, harbor an eternally resentment for Thaños and his betrayal.
Following the arm wreckage, Freddy disbanded the Zonkaloids indefinitely.
The Freak Phone[]
Freddy was no stranger to the public by the time his arms got hecka wrecked, and so he was able to quickly develop a new hobby in advertising. He starred in a commercial for the "Freak Phone" which gained immense popularity overnight and won Freddy twelve Academy Awards.
Everyone was so enamored by his performance , that no one bothered to actually call the number! As a result, little is known about what exactly the Freak Phone does upon calling. Several sources have confirmed the existence of wormholes appearing once the number is dialed, but there is no evidence to confirm this.
There is a fee of $2 for calling the Freak Phone.