Flying Toasters

3 flying toasters.

Flying Toasters are a species invented by a bunch of good guys. They look like toasters with bird wings.


Flying toasters are made of Chaos Energy and were created by Captain 0 and his girlfriend Captain 7 in an accident involving a toaster, a Wing Cap, and the Fusion-Machine 9000. What happened is, Captain 0 found a toaster somewhere in the empty dimension known as the Negaverse, which he was in the process of converting into Captain 0 Land. Knowing that toasters were evil, Captain 0 had a Great Big Plan™. The Great Big Plan™ was to put something random in the toaster and use the Fusion-Machine 9000 to fuse the toasted thing with the toaster itself. At the same time, Captain 7 found a Wing Cap inside a red ! Block located somewhere in Fimble Valley. She took it to Captain 0, but in her haste, she mistook the toaster for a safe deposit box. Captain 0 started the Great Big Plan™, creating the first flying toaster. The problem was that it was so awesome that it caused seizures in children. Nobody cared, however, and Captains 0 and 7 made more flying toasters.

Exactly a decade after they were created, to the millisecond, an angry mom sued Captains 0 and 7 for unleashing the 501st Flying Toaster Battalion on the Mushroom Kingdom shortly after a Buster Call, causing a seizure in her 5-year-old child. As a result, the good Captains hired Professor Katrina and Doctor Mimi to lead a new operation that redesigned flying toasters. They were supposed to make a less dangerously awesome flying toaster, but Professor Katrina made flying toasters even more awesome by throwing the Chaos Emeralds at one and then getting a blessing from Super Gooder Captain 0. This new model caused seizures not only in children, but in cats, dogs, and old people, but Nobody still cared, so Captains 0 and 7, as well as Katrina and Mimi, are still making even more flying toasters.

Theme song

Flying out of the sun
The smell of toast is in the air
When there's a job to be done
The Flying Toasters will be there!
And it's flap! Flap! Flap!
Now help is on the way
A victory song they si-ing
We pop up to save the day
On mighty toaster wings!

In brightest day or after dark
When times of trouble are at hand
The flying toasters set a spark
And hope is blazing 'cross the land!
And it's flap! Flap! Flap!
Salvation from above
A precious gift they bri-ing
Gleaming angels of love
On mighty toaster wings!

Baby Toasterettes

Yes, they can have babies. The babies have their own theme song:
Goo gah goo gah gah
No words could better say
The love we can't forget
Soaring 'cross the Milky Way
The baby toasterettes!


The construction of a flying toaster is simple rocket science. You just need to put a Wing Cap into the slot where you're supposed to put bread in a toaster. Then, you wait for the toaster to ding, and out pops a toasted Wing Cap!

But you're not done yet! Once the toasted Wing Cap comes out, you must put it and the toaster into the Fusion-Machine 9000, and out pops a flying toaster!

Once the flying toaster appears, you have to throw the Chaos Emeralds at it, causing it to absorb the data of the emeralds. There is only one more step.

The final step is to ask for a blessing from Super Gooder Captain 0. You have to give a really good reason for making a flying toaster. If you lie, he will send Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick you on the spot. If you are one in the OVER 9000 that don't get roundhouse kicked, you now have one of the most good and awesome species that has ever been known to man, lizard, or dolphin kind.


Flying toasters are loved by 100% of the people in the UnMultiverse. The remaining 0% think they suck. This broke a record, as nothing has ever been this popular before. They are also the most popular thing of all time.


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