The First Undefeatable War was a top-secret, yet highly significant, war between the Undefeatables, along with their supporters, the Loyalist Army, and the villainous, chaotically disorganized PagUns. It took place over the course of the 18th century in Canada, but the specific dates are unknown due to the fact that the Undefeatables were involved, and some of their attacks were individually powerful enough to damage the flow of time itself.
Once a proud member of the Lower Counsel of Undefeatables, Weegee was eventually expelled for staring at the other Undefeatables too much. Not only did he look jarringly creepy, but his "spacing out" face and his "attempted murder" face were indistinguishable from one another. Thus, after one complaint too many, the almighty Chuck Norris decided to banish Weegee to Hell, no questions asked. However, the resentful Weegee managed to break out of Hell by Weegifying a hellhound, which infuriated Bob Saget. As ruler of Hell, Saget took it upon himself to make an immense series of changes in Hell's security, which left him far too busy to watch over Weegee's shenanigans. Chuck Norris and Marx were also busy, as they were searching for a suitable replacement for Weegee, and Cyber-Dee and the T-5001 simply didn't consider Weegee enough of a threat to interfere. This, however, would soon change.
Weegee Takes Over Fort Ploxy
Weegee scoured the UnWorld for somebody
stupid brave and powerful enough to take on the Undefeatables, which is how he found out about the PagUns. He tried to contact everyone from the Robotnik Family to WaWaWaWaTinky-Winky, but nobody wanted anything to do with him. Finally, he found a PagUn in a position of power who hadn't caught wind of Weegee's notorious reputation: Ploxy the Flying Fish. Ploxy lived in a fortress in Canada, along with three minions and a robot army, and decided to accept Weegee's invitation. However, when he saw Weegee approaching and Weegifying every living thing in his path, he decided to leave a note on the front gate, explaining that he was "temporarily away on business" and that Weegee could "make himself at home, just please, stop the senseless violence". With those parting words, Ploxy hopped in his enormous mech and hightailed it out into the Canadian woods with his minions in tow. He wasn't planning to surrender his castle and robot army to Weegee, but Ploxy wanted to wait for him to cool down before returning and, most likely, stabbing Weegee in the back. However, Ploxy was never able to follow through with his plan because he encountered his arch-nemesis, Doug the Scorpion, exploring the Canadian wilderness with nothing but a hot water bottle on his back. After attacking and being defeated by Doug, Ploxy warned him about the threat of Weegee and that he should be careful. Doug relayed this information to his friend, Captain 0, who brought it to the Undefeatables during a routine meeting at the Undefeatable Palace.
The Loyalist Army and Legion of Captains Form
Captain 0 brought the issue of Weegee to the Undefeatables, but many of them were preoccupied with other issues at the time and didn't really want to think about Weegee, let alone take him seriously as a threat. However, Bob Saget managed to make a sufficient fuss to raise the Undefeatables' concern, and Cyber-Dee used his technological prowess to generate six digital warriors, similar to Captain 0 in powers and appearance. These, under Captain 0's command, would form the Legion of Captains. While the Legion was traveling across dimensions back to the UnWorld, their vehicle, Thomas the Tank Engine, accidentally traveled through a wormhole and, by the time the Legion arrived on the UnWorld, the war was already over. Fortunately for Thomas, he managed to bribe the Legion to never speak of this incident again.
Meanwhile, Doug the Scorpion managed to rally an army of his own. He rescued a massive amount of Pickles from the ongoing First Pickle War, allied himself with some Giant Isopods, and Space Invaders at an insect convention, although he had to talk with King Isopod before recruiting the Isopods. It was incredibly easy, as King Isopod was a full Loyalist, and even agreed to participate in the war himself on the condition of Doritos. He also randomly encountered a highly mysterious figure and skilled fighter named John Doe in the Canadian wilderness. As valuable as he was to the army, John Doe's alignment proved to be questionable, as he constantly disappeared at various crucial points during the battle. This is not illogical, as John Doe would later assassinate Abraham Lincoln and become one of the most successful PagUns in history, which was ironic because he fought alongside the Loyalists. Nevertheless, Doe proved to be an important member of this group, which called itself the Loyalist Army.
The War Begins
The Loyalists stormed Fort Ploxy, where Weegee had gathered an army of his own. In addition to Ploxy's robots, he had either hired or, if they refused, Weegified the workers of Vlasic Pickles with the approval of Vlasic himself, for whom the fight became personal the moment he found out that the Loyalist Army contained pickles. Since the war was relatively small and fought in the Canadian wilderness, hardly anyone else became involved or even heard about the war when it began. Even the Undefeatables, who had been relying on the Legion of Captains to contact them with news about the war, didn't know anything about it until it was nearly over. The Loyalists seemed to be fighting an uphill battle on a nearly constant basis: Ploxy's robots flew into the sky to take out the Space Invaders, Vlasic dive-bombed the pickles, John Doe defeated most of the Vlasic Pickles workers but mysteriously disappeared, and the Giant Isopods seemed ill-suited to the Canadian climate and were on the verge of freezing to death. Finally, Doug the Scorpion was able to summon Chuck Norris by firing his Rainbow Cannon, a multicolored mouth laser, into space and attracting his attention. Chuck had been busy preparing Weegee's new replacement, WaPo, for her life among the Undefeatables, but she was unruly and seemed more focused on destroying everything around her than taking her destiny as an Undefeatable seriously. Chuck sent Marx to subdue her, which would result in the Twenty Seven Day Battle of Epicness, and descended onto Fort Ploxy himself.
On the roof of Fort Ploxy, Weegee waited arrogantly for Chuck Norris as Vlasic supplied him with Weekend Pickles. Doug watched in amazement as Weegee grew in size and strength to match Chuck Norris...or so it seemed. Before Weegee could even lift a single limb, Chuck smote him with a roundhouse kick fit to cleave a solar system in half, sending ripples through the flow of time itself. Weegee threw down his hat with the shame of a raised white flag and fled, while Chuck Norris vanished as quickly as he had come. The rest of the PagUn army retreated, and the Giant Isopods took to the stars with the Space Invaders.
While the First Undefeatable War was virtually unheard of as it progressed, its ending was witnessed across Canada with the visibility and poignance of a mushroom cloud. All of a sudden, everybody knew about the First Undefeatable War (or Undefeatable War, as it was simply called at the time). The Legion of Captains finally arrived, and Doug informed them of what they had missed. Ploxy and his minions returned to their fortress, and an exhausted Doug nonchalantly let them pass. Simultaneously, at the Undefeatable Palace, Chuck officially accepted WaPo as the replacement to Weegee in the Lower Counsel of Undefeatables.