Well roast me in Turkey, we are in for a blitz...
The Wintendo Pii Smoo is a piece of, "mow-durn art" (as Randy Warthog pronounces it) and the next console in a series of Wintendo muck-ups. It's the direct successor of the belated Wintendo Pii, and a cheap attempt to paddle onto the, "success" of the Nintendo Wii U. Obviously the Wii U is not the most successful thing, so we think that they are banking on brand recognition.
The Wintendo Pii Smoo was made sometime in 2019, when Mr. Wintendo decided that the Wintendo Pii could be improved significantly, because as of now, it reeks of Wario's inner nostrils (that did not make any sense and I formally apologize). Now of course, they could've improved basically anything with that dumpster fire, but no, they decided the issue was the shape. The Wintendo Pii Smoo is almost the exact same as a Wintendo Pii, but with a different controller and weirder glass shape. It was gonna be called the, "Wintendo Pii Poo" but they thought such was too immature, so they changed the last word. "Smoo" is, in fact, a swear word amongst Italian Dinosaurs referring to the bottom of their feet, so in reality, Wintendo just doubled down.
The Wintendo Pii Smoo is barely, if at all, different from the previous model. Though of course, it has a wine chalice shape this time around, but such is detrimental as it's hard to put the discs in the Pikachu skin water. Due to trace amounts of alcohol in the water, the Pii Smoo is much more flammable compared to the classic Pii. The spilling problem remains and the controller is kinda convoluted, overall, many people see this as the worst Wintendo console.
It should be noted that the Pii Smoo actually beat out the Wii U in sales by one unit. Though of course, that last unit was accidentally dropped seconds after unboxing, and of course, the Wii U did not sell well, so one more does not instantly help matters.
The Controller[]
Yes, I gave the controller its own section because it is just so... wrong! It's thankfully not as cringeworthy as the Wintendo Shamepiramid controller (which, alongside the Pii, is compatible with this) but it's still an eyeful.
The functions include:
- Green/Yellow/Red light for charge (orange when plugged in)
- Blue light for Wi-Fi
- Two transparent shoulder buttons
- Two analog sticks
- A D-pad
- A home button
- A power button
- A 911 button, always a necessity
- A TV button for pad only/TV only playing
- Four letter buttons of the АБВГДЕЁЖЗИЙКЛМНОПРСТУФХЦЧШЩЪЫЬЭЮЯ
- A radar and antenna that is meant to sense... something?
- A slot for Lame Boy compatibility
- Some speakers that I don't like feeling
Please remember that there is somebody in the UnWorld right now who liked this concept and approved it.
Shames[]
The box art for Pii Smoo shames. Use vigorously.
- You already know what
- Grand Theft Sesame Street: Gang Wars
- Grand Theft Sesame Street: Sesame City Stories
- Tony Hawk's Ducky Empire Tour
- Pop'n Music
- Maybe some others...