Your Doritos, or your life. Go on, choose. King Isopod
King Isopod is the ruler of the Isopod Dimension and is, obviously, the king of all Giant Isopods. He probably loves Doritos more than anyone else in the entire UnMultiverse, and wants to eat all the Doritos in the UnMultiverse. He sends his Isopods to Earth, each the size of a kitten, and there they steal Doritos, throw away pineapples, and scare the crap out of people.
Bio[]
King Isopod at first looks very similar to most Giant Isopods, though there are a few differences. First, a normal Isopod is the size of a kitten. King Isopod is the size of Earth. The crown on his head is also a distinguishing characteristic of King Isopod, and if you couldn't tell already, it is literally made of Doritos. Not only that, Isopods in general are hard to amuse, but King Isopod is not amused at just about everything. If he is not amused at you, he will make you a Dorito and then eat you.
King Isopod and Doritos[]
As you may have noticed by now, King Isopod REALLY likes Doritos. But where did this all start? It begins with a time loop containing a Dorito that Chuck Norris threw into when the UnMultiverse was 420 years old.
By the time this time loop finally ended, the Dorito had split into two. One was flung eons in the future, to a century before modern Earth, where a pathetic company called Frito Lay found it, analyzed it, and claimed it for their own, making many copies. The second Dorito landed in the Isopod Dimension, straight into the underwater palace of King Isopod. When he ate it, he was shocked. IT WAS, BY FAR, WITHOUT QUESTION, THE MOST DELICIOUS THING HE'D EVER TASTED AND EVER WOULD TASTE. King Isopod loved it so much, he built a trans-dimensional teleportation machine (which took him until modern times to complete) to find out where it came from. He never did find out, but by this time Frito Lay was popular worldwide with their Doritos.
So King Isopod sent some of his Isopods to Earth to fetch him Doritos, although they would also dump pineapples (their previous food source) and scare the crap out of people along the way. He especially likes sending Isopods to Australia, but what did you expect? A while later, he discovered something amazing; the back of the bag. Of course he skipped the nutrition facts and went straight to the ingredients. Using this knowledge, King Isopod built the largest Doritos factory the UnMultiverse has ever known. They only supply the Isopods, though, so don't expect this factory to be used for business anytime soon. Giant Isopods don't even use money.
The Great Isopod War[]
A quick summary of what happened during this is basically, a Giant Isopod visited Hawaii, the queen pissed him off, and he returned to the Isopod Dimension to tell King Isopod, who was absolutely not amused. He promptly declared war on Hawaii, in a very brutal conflict. King Isopod lost, but nearly won. If you would like more information on this war, check out The Great Isopod War.
The First Undefeatable War[]
During this war, King Isopod remained a loyalist and fully supported the Undefeatables. He was completely convinced to participate in the war when they bribed him with Doritos, although he would have anyway. He sent in his Isopods to serve as heavy artillery. To this day, King Isopod remains a member of the Loyalist Army.
Trivia[]
- He HATES pineapples. The reason for this is back in the beginnings, the only food available to Giant Isopods in the Isopod Dimension was pineapples. They got old very quick, but it was all the Isopods had since they refused to cannibalize. So once Doritos were available in reliable numbers, they COMPLETELY replaced pineapples as food and they were dumped on Earth for the people there to suffer with.
- He has an extremely intense rivalry with Hank Hill, who love Doritos almost as much as he does. Hank Hill also wants to eat all the Doritos in the UnMultiverse. So King Isopod sent half of his Isopods to infest Arlen. There were so many Isopods people had to wear masks to keep them from hurting their faces. They had a Doritos shortage, due to all the Isopods eating them all, which drove Hank Hill insane. Unfortunately, he recovered.
- Hank Hill struck back by somehow traveling to the Isopod Dimension and invading the Doritos factory. It failed miserably. Hank Hill was immediately spotted, and King Isopod almost turned him into a Dorito before he escaped.
- The Isopod Dimension is so remote that almost no one has heard of it. This, combined with the fact that King Isopod was heavily loyalist during the First Undefeatable War, is why no Undefeatable ever bothers with King Isopod, because they'd feel terrible about it. Besides the evil ones, of course, but they've got other things on their minds.
- By reading this article, King Isopod is not amused at you. Run.