Minecraft

Minecraft is a strangely infinite pocket dimension of the UnUniverse and a very fun shame with ~~randomly generated~~ built structures. It's created by Notch, who released Minecraft exclusively for computers ever since 2009. It is entirely made of blocks, so it is a bit weird to navigate through. It is a world where you can only see nothing but squares and blocks.

Welcome to Minecraft, but new!

Shameplay[]

People often frequently mine for resources and they never run out unlike in the real world. You can also strangely find lotsa caves (more than 1,000,000,000) when there are only a few hundred in this world. You can also find imaginary dungeons, abandoned mineshafts, both constructed by Herobrine, and infrequent towns and villages, temples, wells and strongholds not constructed by Herobrine. There is also frequent lava; strangely. Lakes of magma are always around the fields and deserts, so stay away from those. Also just stay away from the deserts there's nothing good in them except maybe for the Desert Pig.

Playable Characters[]

Steve
- He's the protagonist and best character of Minecraft.
Alex
- She was added in Update 1.8. She's not as awesome as Steve, but she's still pretty cool.
Ari, Efe, Kai, Makena, Noor, Sunny & Zuri
- A bunch of useless nobodies who got added in Update 1.19.3.
You
- That's right, you are playable too!
The Rest
- If we listed every other playable character, we would be here all day.

Updates[]

There's always new stuff added in the form of updates, such as the Piss and Shit Update, so check back every week for a new dimension. Speaking of dimensions...

Dimensions[]

Minecraft currently has three dimensions to explore:

The Overworld[]

This is the dimension you start in, and it's basically a blocky version of the UnWorld.

The Nether[]

This is Minecraft's version of Hell.

The End[]

This dimension is made out of floating islands, and it's where you fight the Ender Dragon, and after you kill her (yes, the Ender Dragon is female), you gain access to the outer islands.

The Infinitylands[]

Okay, we lied about there being three dimensions. The Infinitylands could only be accessed on April Fools' 2020 by throwing a random book inside a Nether Portal. This dimension is actually 2,147,483,645 separate dimensions, but we count it as one dimension, because screw you.

The Moon[]

During April Fools' 2023, this dimension could be accessed by going over 700 blocks in the sky.

Other Dimensions[]

There's a scrapped sky dimension, and there's lots of mods allowing you to visit MOAR dimensions, such as the Aether and the Twilight Forest, but those don't count.

Origin[]

Minecraft was originally made by Markus "Notch" Persson and Howard Moskowitz in a secret boarding room in Ireland, Oklahoma where they had this following discussion:

Notch: You know what I want in my next gen game scene?
Howard: What?
Notch: An open world rendered in retro graphics where I dig.
Howard: Uhh...dig and what now?
Notch: "That's it, a game where I just punch trees and dig for minerals.
Howard: And are you looking for buried treasure?
Howard: ...or is there a princess locked away in an underground dun-
Notch: Nope, just good old-fashioned digging, and also some building.
Howard: OK, great... (This guy is NUTS!)
Notch: ...

Howard afterwards thought that just digging and building is a stupid idea, so he made a retro cubic 3D game about a hero saving a princess in an underground cave. Notch didn't like the game, so he fired Moskowitz. After that, he broke the game and made a better version of it. And the result was Minecraft.

History[]

YKMuE9O — Shameplay from a VERY OLD version of Minecraft.

Minecraft was created by a man named Notch. Notch is some sorta god, because he can create pocket dimensions like Minecraft. He is a man from Spritopia, so he is obsessed with everything that has to do with pixels. So, one day, he raised his hand, and ripped a hole in the fabric of the UnUniverse (he can do this because he never trims his fingernails).

When people went through this hole, they discovered that they were in a weird square-like place called Minecraft. This is where they were greeted by King Notch, ruler of Minecraft. They all looked like Steve because nobody had made skins yet. But soon Mario's clones flooded in, and Notch decided he had enough with his Mario-infected game and deemed one of the Steves the new king.

Steve with his newfound bureaucratic powers declared Minecraft and the UnWorld allies. This is when the Creepers showed up and blew up all of Minecraft. Steve blamed the UnWorld, even though they had nothing to do with it.

The portal to Minecraft has since been closed off, but you can also get there through Microsoft. They have a portal that Notch gave them when he got tired of his Mario-infected game. In other words, Mojang Studios and Microsoft now own Minecraft instead of Notch, who caused all of the n00bs at Mojang Studios and Microsoft have big hissy fits just because he said things they didn't like. Notch kept drinking the tears of his haters ever since.

Minecraft WTFs[]

Spawn Eggs[]

Spawn mammals using eggs? That's Minecraft! Minecraft is a very messed up place. I mean, how can you bring a mammal (yep, a mammal) to life using eggs? How WTF is that right?

Uncooked Foods[]

OH NOES! I ONLY GOT A HALF HEART AND I NEED TO EAT A FOOD TO REGENERATE! Luckily I have a TADAA! AN UNCOOKED CHICKEN! But wait? If I eat an uncooked meat, I will get Salmonella bacteria in my stomach? Nah. *eats uncooked chicken* Yay! My life is now full! Now I can go to a journey and kill mobs again! You see, even if you eat uncooked chicken or anything that is raw in Minecraft, you are still alive and not die from salmonella. That's Minecraft.

NOTE: IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SALMONELLA IS, GOOGLE IT. THAT'S WHAT STUPID PEOPLE ALWAYS DO.

FUCK SCIENCE! WE HAVE MINECRAFT! Mojang Studios, on science.

Creepers[]

Creepers are guys that walk around with bombs inside them! They blow up blocks like Al-Qaeda. What kind of guys walk around with bombs inside of them? Creepers must be idiots!

Splash Texts[]

Every time you start Minecraft, there is yellow text that says something funny. Lots of these are pretty ornate stuff like "Bread is Pain". However, ever since 2020, the Mojang Studios and Microsoft decided to add political splashes to Minecraft, which is extremely unfunny. The worst part? These splashes are real, and we aren't making these up. They also removed anything referencing Notch too, which is extremely sad. Oh yeah, they're also going 1984 and not allowing any guns in Minecraft despite having "Sniper Duel" as an achievement, which is extremely 1984.

Despite those flaws, Minecraft is still awesome, but we can't say the same about the guys at Mojang Studios and Microsoft.

The Minecraft Curse[]

The Minecraft Curse is a curse that happens to people who play minecraft sometimes. It makes you go into the shame and you get trapped there! Now where have I heard this story before...

Bully Maguire[]

He builds death stars in the skies. Watch out for him or else your base will be griefed!

Uboa River[]

A beautiful river that Uboa took over and made evil. It's a reservoir for evil water and not normal water, unlike what's in the background.

Other Minecraft Shames[]

Prequels[]

Minecraft -5, called "Minecraft Pre-Classic" by n00bs, was trash because Notch was still developing it.
Minecraft -4, called "Minecraft Classic" by n00bs, and it's almost the same shit.
Minecraft -3, called "Minecraft Indev" by n00bs, it's the Minecraft your mom plays although she's very fat. At least there's a little bit MOAR content, but it's still worse than modern Minecraft due to today's standards.
Minecraft -2, called "Minecraft Infdev" by n00bs, when the pseudo-infinite world of possibilities was finally open.
Minecraft -1, called "Minecraft Alpha" by n00bs (and "Minecraft: Only for Alpha Males" by Alpha Badasses).
Minecraft 0, called "Minecraft Beta" by n00bs (and "Minecraft: Only for Beta Males" by Beta Cucks).

Sequels[]

Minecraft 2, called "Minecraft: Bedrock Edition" by n00bs, is literally just Minecraft ported to non-computer platforms, with SOME differences to the original, such as a shitty marketplace. Unlike the original Minecraft shame, Minecraft 2 has an "Education Edition" mode. For some dumb reason, the "Education Edition" mode is also sold as its own shame, so just buy Minecraft 2 instead.
Minecraft 3, released in 2024, is basically the alpha/beta versions of Minecraft with most of the newer features, but with a stamina bar instead of a hunger bar, old lighting, pre-1.9 combat, pre-1.14 textures, and intended to be as nostalgic as possible. There's also a secret "nightmare mode" that turns this into a trollpasta shame.
Minecraft 4, released in 2059, has 1,999+ mobs, 9,420,999+ blocks, and 69+ dimensions.

Spin-Off Shames[]

Minecraft Dungeons, a dungeon crawler shame that was somewhat successful.
Minecraft Legends, a useless shame that people forgot about shorty after its release.
Minecraft: Ohio Edition, which is an extremely cursed version of Minecraft that's only in Ohio.

Cancelled Shames (For Good Reasons)[]

Minecraft: Story Mode is a Minecraft story, BUT THE STORY IS SHIT!!! Where the fuck is Steve? Who the fuck is Jesse? Why are there fucking YouTubers invading this shame? What the actual FUCK happened in episode 8??!!!!
Minecraft: Story Mode - Season Two is just MOAR shitty Minecraft fanfiction written by talentless hacks such as Caillou, Dora, and Robotboy.
MinecraftEDU - Later replaced with Minecraft 2's "Education Edition" mode due to its incompetence.
Minecraft Earth is a mobile shame that Nobody played.
Minecraft: New Nintendo 3DS Edition - NINTENDO'S WITCH IS BETTER - LIKE GOD DAMN IT JESUS!!!

Rip-Offs[]

There are way too many Minecraft rip-offs to list, but the only one we know about is MineCrapft.

Trivia[]

~~It is worse than Fortnite!~~
Many dumb people were trapped in here.
Somethings were inspired from Roblox-like repeaters.
Somethings were inspired from Mario-like mushrooms.
Somethings were inspired from The Flintstones like Bedrock.
It's mentioned that Minecraft has banned NFT s due to insufficiency as a limited shortage, scam and rug pulls, exclusion as deniable, and as exclusive problems that was used to make money in a weird or unfair way. So, Minecraft just called NFTs to be "limited exclusive scams".
Minecraft was actually created by Hatsune Miku, but Notch stole the computer she was using to make it so it wouldn't be created by an evil singing DIVA that would have spread her propaganda in the shame. However, Miku tried hacking into one of Notch's accounts, but Notch caused her to go BOOM!

UnAnything Wiki