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They once called me just a fat moron. But I was more. Much, much more. I was THE GREATEST FAT MORON EVER! I put on a costume, and declared I will now be known as... FATMAN! Protector of the overweight!
—Fatman, right before getting hit over the head with an anvil
Fatman is a Super Fat-powered superhero character that lives in Possum City. He was originally a regular fat moron named Bruise Pain, but he got a costume that actually fit him, and became Fatman. Ever since then, Fatman has been running rolling around crushing bad guys and hippies underneath his fat rolls of doom.
Fatman's history is largely unknown, but some IS known. That's right, we actually discovered a history on someone. Bruise was born in Fatman, Turkey (That's why the city was named after him). His mother Derpina is not fat, so how is Bruise fat? It's because of his heredity, since his father, Mr. Pain, IS FAT!!! He moved to Possum City when he was very young. When he was just an eight-year-old kid who had a disorder that caused him to be unable to lose weight, so he had a very healthy diet, it was like how most lives go, when some man came up, and killed his parents. He vowed revenge, but first he decided he was hungry. He went off to find some broccoli, but couldn't, so he ate some fast food as a last resort, but the sugar and salt and fat was too good for one fry, so he ate, and ate, and ate until he was overweight to dangerous levels.
Fatman, while on a, "diet" (He actually just sucks in his fat).
He kept eating until the hole in his heart where a love for his family used to be filled. however, he couldn't fill the hole, and his food fetish continued for a long time until he decided to stop to get a beer. He amazingly survived and decided this was a sign there must be more to his disorder and decided to be a superhero by the name of Fatman. So, he paid three million UnDollars to get enough fabric to actually make a costume that fitted him. He did that (sort of) and started waddling around the Possum City streets to stop crime. After that he just ate McDonald's. I mean literally. He swallowed the entire building.
We'd tell you more, but we don't feel like it.
Stuff
Fatman's Logo.
Fatman has Super Fat, an amazing power that lets him roll around, crush people, and eat so much food, he can shoot puke bombs at people.
He is also strong enough to lift four tons, just by using his fat. If he gets fatter, he would be able to lift more, but might die as well.
Fatman is famous for using advanced equipment to help him when his fat isn't enough:
Martyr Manhunter - The ghost of a Martyr who doesn't know who killed him, so he kills everyone.
UnMarvel heroes
Spitter-Man - was bitten by a radioactive spitting cobra, and gained the power of spit.
Irony Man - has a deadly sense of humor. Is stuff.
Captain 'Murica - was created by the U.S. Army "Stupid Soldier" project, and is the world's first redneck superhero.
Spastic Four - four superheroes with useless powers: Mr. Spastic has the power to chimp out, The Human Water Gun has the power to spray water anywhere, The Thong has the power to be mistaken for a woman, and The Idiotic Woman has the power of feminism.
Listerine - drank a whole bottle of mouthwash, which made him grow assamantium claws.
