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Duolingo

Don't make this mistake.

Cquote1 Wake the fuck up it's time to learn Spanish you little shit Cquote2
—'Duo to you, sleeping while Duo is holding a gun'''Duo the Owl is a crazy bird that thoroughly enjoys doing even crazier things. However, he will only do so if someone refuses to practice a language on the EVIL website he set up called Duolingo. But since everyone registers on this site without practicing it later he has a lot of material to choose from.

Origins

A while ago Duo was normally chatting to someone in fluent Spanish. Then another guy walked up to asked them why they were talking in Despacito. Out of rage, Duo quickly killed him. He then later set up his EVIL website he called Duolingo, because he's humble that way. The website promises to teach anyone to speak a language fluently, but if practicing is avoided the penalty is death. He has quenched his thirst for killing this way, and if you are bilingual or more he is very nice. The system is similar to that of Wilkins, Maya, and Lythronax, where if you don't abide by them you're on their hit list. (Although Duo only kills you if you decided to get involved but didn't)

How To Avoid Being Killed By Duo

Well, that depends on the situation.

  • Don't create a Duolingo account if you haven't already. This will only give him an opportunity to kill you.

If you HAVE created a Duolingo account, that is a serious problem. However, there is still a solution:

  • Actually practice the damn language. Daily. Duo will be satisfied by this and not murder you or your family.
  • DON'T delete your account. The damage is already done. Now you're a target of Duo forever.

Okay, so let's say you've deleted your account or are a lazy ass and refuse to practice. Oh no! Duo's coming to get you! How do you defend yourself?

  • Short answer: You CAN'T. Accept your fate. However, keep in mind sometimes Duo will choose a different punishment, such as kidnapping, and you can practice to revert it.

Duo's Punishments

  • Simply killing you. He has many ways to do this, however usually he just breaks into your house holding a knife or gun.
  • Holding your family for ransom. The only way you can get them back is if you practice daily for at least a week straight.
  • Threats. These are usually the first warnings, before he does things to you for real.
  • If you're like an Undefeatable or something around that caliber, Duo knows he can't kill you, and will instead threaten to commit suicide. It usually doesn't work, though.
  • A good list of stuff Duo can do to you can be found here.

Trivia

  • Once, when someone was kidnapped, Duo crashed through the door and shot the kidnapper. After the person thanked Duo, he replied, "You've got more Spanish to learn. You'll die when I say you're gonna die."
  • For some reason he hates Big Chungus, Shaggy Rogers, and Moto Moto, and rivals them in power.
  • DiD yOU pRaCTicE YOuR sPAnISh?
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