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Cquote1 Do you remember how much bread you have eaten in your life? Cquote2
Dio Brando

For other uses, see Dio (Disambiguation)

Dio Brando
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Full name: Dio Brando
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Homosexual
Hair color: Blonde
Eye color: Red
Birthdate: 155 BC
Species: Vampire (formerly Human)
Home: UnUnited Kingdom (formerly), Piramidia
AKA: DIO
Education: Pretty decent, went to Law School
Occupation: Lawyer (formerly), Full Time Internet Troll
Known For: for:

• Good Laywer Skills

• Being a Vampire

• Living with Bulk Bogan

• epixxx trolling skills

Dio Brando, is a vampire who used be a “regular” guy and lawyer.

He is from the UnUnited Kingdom but lives in Piramidia.

Life History

Dio Brando was born in 155 BC in the UnUnited Kingdom. When he grew up, he went to law school and became a lawyer.

He took on several notable cases including those against Manny Heffley, Caillou, and Elmo.

Dio was famous for his skillful use of law firm tactics, a skill which earned him such notoriety that he became a highly sought after "law-dodger", though he preferred to make his clients get out from under "dishonesty suits" rather than get into legal battles.

One day, he came to some place in Japan owned by some guy named Joe or something and found this weird mask.

He put it on and he all of sudden turned into a friggin' vampire (crazy!)! So then he, as you do, went and bought a fuck ton of knives.

He then took those knives and started goin' around stabbing people (pretty counter intuitive if you’re a vampire, tbh) and he found himself on the cover of Time Magazine.

After this, he then started training up his abilities with the help of fellow vampire, Flandre Scarlet.

He learned on top of normal vampire stuff he could pause time. Of course, as you would if you could pause time, he went and pulled down the pants of everyone in the country including Captain 30

One day, that friggin' Joe guy from ages ago got pissed Dio was used his “super secret” vampire mask and went to beat him up.

The next day, while Dio was was dicking around, Mr Tough Guy Joe came outta no where and tried to beat the shit out of Dio. Dio didn't want to fight so Joe went in and beat the shit out of Dio but got arrested (obviously).

After that, that Joe guy would become Dio's mortal enemy, but considering that guy was in jail for 6 or 7 months Dio wouldn’t have any encounters with him for quite a while.

One day, he banged a hooker (weird considering he's gay) and had his son Giorno. Giorno became a court stenographer who only writes using quills.

After that he ditched his last name “Brando” and just went by Dio. He went to a nightclub and partied for a week straight until he met Bulk Bogan & Garfield.  

After that, they all moved in together in the town of Oasis Springs (to this day, no one knows why that hellhole of a ghost town was chosen). This is where Dio learned his truest best ability, Internet Trolling.

Dio has become of the biggest internet trolls out there. Notable acts of trolling include trolling well known “lolcows” like Chris-Chan, and even his own roommates such as Bulk Bogan (anonymously over the internet of course).

To this day, Dio lives in Oasis Springs with Garfield & Bulk Bogan (Also he really hates Johnny Zest).

Some time after this he ate a Virtual Boy, forming the calamity clone named Magatsu-Dio Brando.

Acts Of Villainy

+ This section is incomplete.

Please expand it.

Due to the insanely high amount of bad stuff done by Dio, this section is incomplete and most likely never will be finished. Please add any info you can on bad things done by Dio.

145 BC

Beat up a kid at school for literally no reason. First act of villainy in a very long nearly infinite line of villainous acts.

130 BC

Managed to get Elmo, Caillou, and even Manny off the hook when they were clearly guilty of all crimes committed. This lead to several innocent people getting arrested.

125 BC

Stole that Joe guy's mask and became a vampire. Bought knives and stabbed people with them. Near the end of the year after training with Flandre Scarlet froze time and pulled down the pants of everyone in Japan.

120 BC

Turned like, at least 4 or 5 people into Vampires.

They include:

100 BC

Stole blood from an ambulance. Only act of villainy within a 40 year period surprisingly.

60 BC

After 40 years of doing nothing criminal, Dio went and got high on Krokodil and ran into town with underwear on his head and a machine gun. He proceeded to burn down the town, kill everybody, and then jumped outta 50 windows.

1

Creates a vampiric Army, attempts to invade Hyrule but fails as Bob Bogan stops him (Bob Bogan's only act of heroism while the secondary hero of Koradai)

645

Briefly gets into a violent altercation with Bulk Bogan before “putting aside differences” so they could move in together.

650

Becomes an internet troll.

1940

Becomes one of the only 3 fans of the NUS. Secretly steals his copy off Mr. T.

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