Johnny C. arriving at a the 2038 Macy's Day Science Festival. Needless to say, thousands of wannabe scientist nerds passed out at the sight of him.
What a load of bloody tut!
—A logical person on Dib's experiments.
The hell is Union of Darkness?
—Johnny C., on the writing in the upper left corner of the picture.
He is one sexy guy... OMG what the hell am I saying?!
—Hajime Kunihiro, on her own stupidity Dib's sexah succulent body.
Dib is a mad scientist, singer (cough cough), Gundam fan, idiot, loser, scientist, doctor, idiot, angsty emo kid, papparazi, idiot, Black Sabbath fan, idiot, and idiot. He was born as a Hobbit living in the skeletal woods but has since been dethroned. He briefly played for the band Neurosis. Born in 1833, he is one of the world's most notorious "scientists", housing a wide variety of expirements, ranging from disproving lunatic thumpers (which at the time was just a Christian Hotel INN passport) to performing autopsies on Furbies. He also lays SPACE BOY BEANS, because it's a disease he has.
Early Days[]
Though it is unkown who exactly Dib was born to, what is known that he was born as a hobbit, with fairly good parents, in the skeletal woods. He was given everything he needed in his first few years of life - 6 meals a day, water, chicks and a home. However, Dib's life went to Hell when his unknown parents were burnt to death when an oven fell on them.
Pact With Lord Sauron[]
Dib lived in sadness for the next few years of his life, mourning the loss of his once beloved parents. He knew how to fend for himself during this time, and didn't need anybody to take care of him, however. One day, while lying in his bed thinking about his parents, Ring Lord Sauron came to grant him eternal life as a dwarf slave. Dib agreed, and thus began the 19 year pact with Ring Lord Sauron.
Dib was assigned by Sauron to kill any tresspasser that came by. One day, while Dib was swinging his axe like a madman, he accidentally killed Frodo Baggins, Sauron's best friend. Sauron, who wanted to kill Frodo for himself, flew into a rage and turned Dib into a normal human again, and threw him all the way to America. It took Dib a whole 2 years for him to reach America from Middle Earth.
Cheater girlfriend[]
In the current days, he's now dating a cat god named Callie, who's the star of Callie Show. Callie is a cheater and has so much boyfriends, but she keeps them a secret so Dib won't get mad. He also did an experiment on a group of prepubescent girls to see if Callie's show was actually helpful. The independent variable group were the girls who watched it, while the control group never watched it. The girls who watched the show grew into beautiful, youthful girls upon reaching puberty, while the girls who didn't became overweight yous.