This is Grif, sleeping at the wheel.
Oh yeah? Well there's no "you" either! So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, then nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!
—After being told there's no "I" in team.
Dexter Grif is a loser on Red Team that has nothing better to do than eat, sleep, and sleep. He was positioned in Blood Gulch for several years, but eventually went on a bunch of wacky adventures because of events that interfered with his sleeping schedule. Among other things, he watched while his friends defeated a rogue Artificial Idiocy unit, he pretended to help take down a major conspiracy, and he took over Germany with a big bomb in order to write laws saying he didn't have to do work.