You don't know the power of the dark side! I must obey my master!
—Darth Vader
I am Your Father.
—Darth Vader, proving he is Your Dad.
*Breathes Heavily*
—Also Darth Vader
Darth Vader (also known as Lord Waiter, Lord Vader, Ani, Annie, Darth Awesome, Dark Helmet, and Ultra Cool Guy) is an evil overlord of A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away. He is second in command of the entire Galactic Empire. Only the Freak with the Hood is higher than him. He might be a monster under his mask.
He also has a few sons, but the most important ones are Luke Skywalker and You. He also has a grandson named Kylo Ren who worships him and prays to him every day.
History
Darth Vader was born as a slave to a talking insect in 926. He grew up like that until a jedi found him. The jedi took him in, and taught him the dark side. Usually they don't do this, but they thought it would be cool. This turned out to be a mistake, however, because the Freak with the Hood saw this, and planned to take him as his apprentice. It worked, and Darth Vader changed sides. He killed all of the Jedi.
But then, Darth Vader wanted a break. He called his old collage friend, Luke Skywalker, and asked him if he wanted to hang out. Luke dropped by thirty minutes later. Darth Vader decided to mess with his by telling Luke that he was Luke's long lost father. (Though this was actually true because of S, he didn't know it.) They then proceed to play ball, like real father and son.
Darth Vader, realizing being a father sucked, moved to the UnWorld where he found an abandoned land where Nobody ruled. He arrived here the same time as Darwin Watterson and Albert Einstein. The three of them together founded the fine nation of Germany. Vader decided to go visit his son Luke. He flew all the way to A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away, spent five minutes there, and then flew back. At this point 146 years had passed.
Darth Vader being evil!
Darth Vader being good!
Realizing his nation was now under the tyranny of Goku, Vader summoned the Death Star (which arrived in about three minutes), and threatened to annihilate the planet if he didn't get Germany. He got Germany. He ruled it for several years, and even met Your Mom there. He then went to visit A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away again.
Vader learned that Luke Skywalker really was his son. Furthermore, he also learned that Luke Skywalker had joined in alliance dedicated to overthrowing Vader and his master, restoring peace to the galaxy. Vader fought bravely, but eventually lost in 1983. He faked his own death, even using some hologram trick to appear as a ghost (although the idiot accidentally put in his past-self hologram, so Luke had no idea what was going on).
After he was confident that the entire galaxy believed him to be dead, he returned to Germany (taking numerous bathroom breaks along the way, slowing him down considerably) where he realized it was 2993 and Germany had recently been liberated from the likes of Satan himself. Fortunately, Captain 0 had fixed things up so Vader didn't have to do any real work. The captain declared Vader the ruler of Germany. Vader ruled for many years until he learned that Freak with the Hood was still alive. He traveled back A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far Far Away only to realize that IT'S A TRAP! He was executed shortly after. He destroyed a town in Koridai with the Steamulator, which is one of his stuuuuuuuuuupid inventions.
Trivia
- Darth Vader is your father.
- Darth Vader is the secondary antagonist in Everything: The Movie.
- Darth Vader has a weird impersonator.