D. João (Don John) is a awesome guy and is one of the UnAnything Mascots. He was a king in Portugal who fought for the rights of the
gay happy people, and he was a glutton. His wife was a total b*tch and used to have "fun" with Prostitute May while Mario tried to bang Micaela over the window. He has a little jacket CALLED Don John VI's Filthy Little Jacket (Portuguese: Jaquetinha imunda do D. João VI) and usually is seen with it sleeping (it stinks! and he uses it to keep drumsticks always nearby). Despite his royal appearance, he can be a hardcore and awesome guy (evidence is that he likes Mortal Kombat and The Terminator). He is so epic, HE never got banned on ANY website (and he's the only man besides Chuck Norris, Captain 0, and a couple of other guys who are allowed to troll on any website evur made). Everyone also likes him because he beats up dumb-arses like Jack Thompson and ChristianU2uber with a cricket-bat (AKA paddle bat) and makes them sorry that they were big sh**-stains in the world and messed up stuff.
- Eating drumsticks
- Eating 7 chickens a day
- Eating Butter
- Drinking wine and beer
- PWNING n00bz
- Mortal Kombat
- French maidens
- The Terminator
- Well-made steak
- Hot springs
- The internet (he trolls on ze interwebz to kick the crack out of butthurt n00bz by chatroom, what an awesome guy)
- Sunday driving
- Changing clothing
- Mud bath
- Jack Thompson
- Justin Bieber (Beaver)
- Fail trolls
List of guys he kicked the f*** out of
There are some guys who indeed got their fanny kicked by the awesome power of Don John's feet (and cane) because he hated them and they failed at life (big time).
Here's the list:
- Jack Thomspon (his worst enemy)
- Justin Bieber (Beaver in other cases)
- ChristianU2uber (fails so bad, D. João VI hit him with a blood-stained cricket bat on the butt. ouch...)
- The Jonas Bros.
- Miley Cyrus
- Fred Figglehorn
- The Joker
- Osama bin Laden
- I saw him seriously owning Justin Bieber.
- He kicked the crap out of ChristianU2uber one time for being a total idiot in life and as a message that he's a terrible role model for kids.
- He has a pet Badger named "Scarfy" who knows how to fight like a ninja, and can fly a fighter jet and gun down foes.