UnAnything Wiki

What is UnAnything? UnAnything is a humor wiki that's been running for over a decade. Want to edit? Read the rules, because your edits won't be saved unless you follow the instructions within. But if you're just curious about us, you can read the guide. Be sure to also check out our Discord! Have fun!

READ MORE

UnAnything Wiki
Advertisement
For legal reasons, this is not financial advice; this article is just satire at the expense of the new super crypto bros.
Bitcoin

Bitcoin, the most popular cryptocurrency.

Cryptocurrency is an electric-type money that is a ripoff of UnDollars. Guys who use crypto and think it's better than UnDollars say it's because crypto's not "fiat" or "centralized", when in fact they're both and just don't want to admit it. The most popular cryptocurrency is Bitcoin. Technically, any currency that uses cryptography is a cryptocurrency, which makes Robux a cryptocurrency. People keep making more and more cryptocurrencies because they want to be rich off their own money. NFTs are usually tied to cryptocurrency.

How it works[]

Basically, you tell a bunch of people you sent money. That is called placing down a block. If they think you sent money, you sent money! If they think you didn't, then you didn't. It's called ghost blocks when you place a block on the chain and people deny its existence. Technically, other people can say you placed down blocks, but they always get ghost blocks because there's no way for them to claim they're you when you haven't been hacked yet. You placing down the block will be remembered forever as part of the block chain, and no blocks can be removed without meddling.

History[]

Cryptocurrency was first invented in 1997 when Notch thought "Yeah, I'd like some money" so digitized the UnDollar bill. He took this bill, changed some stuff up, and made 1,000 screenshots of it. He went to Spritopia with these "Notch Crowns" and started making divisions such as Notch Ores. The most valuable of these ores was Emeralds (which later got renamed to Diamonds). People started taking screenshots of his screenshots, so he put his crowns on the block chain.

Then some people stole his block chain, and started making their own currencies with it. The first of these ripoffs was Etherium, named after the Aether from Terraria. Notch cashed out on his Notch Crowns and abandoned the blockchain technology to go work on Minecraft. More and more ripoffs and clones were made. McDonald's even made its own cryptocurrency called M¢ which you can use to speculate on diabetes rates in the U.S. and U.K.. That one is going to the moon right now.

The only people making cryptocurrencies nowadays are dudes like Kakuzu and Kisame Hoshigaki running scams. The most popular type of scam basically involves a guy making a new cryptocurrency, promoting it to make it worth more than ¢2, and then cashing out once it's inflated worth is $200. Then it becomes ¢0.002 because it is actually worthless.

Terminology[]

  • You might be asking "Wat da heck is 'going to the moon'?" Well it's pretty simple. In Rabbids Go Home on Nintendo Wii, the Rabbids make a giant pile of trash so they can become a Japanese folk legend. It's symbolic of how you can reach your dreams if the trash below you gets big enough, a representation of the growth of wealth. No, the true meaning is they're hoping Mordecai and Rigby will use their magic red keyboard to send it to the moon.
  • Public Keys and Private Keys are way too boring for this wiki. Think of it as like femboy chastity.
  • Exchanges are guys who basically are like banks. They let you do well, currency exchanges.
  • Another one is centralized, which basically means "your stuff has to go through someone". If you pretend exchanges don't exist or that they're not important, then Bitcoin and Etherium are UnCentralized.
  • Gas is what you use on the road to drive your car, unless you use induction. Basically, if you want to move funds like you do a car, and gotta put a bounty on your transaction. This is because the laws of Alchemy also apply to crypto.
  • Token is basically just what Crowns/Ores are called now.
  • And then everything else is just freebooted from actual financing. If you took Accounting 101, you will understand the rest.

List of cryptocurrencies that actually matter[]

List that isn't blank[]

Advertisement