You can count on him! Or her, or whatever the heck this thing actually is.

Scientific name: Monochrome Astronautus
Hair color: Varies
Eye color: Glass
Habitat: Crewmate-made structures
Natural Range: The UnUniverse, and Jupiter
Time Alive: Unknown, probably older than Humans
Size: 3'6
Edible? Do not.
Is Prayed Upon by Teletubbies
Intelligence: so-and-so, invasive species make it hard to tell.
Conservation Status: Endangered Species
Powers: Scum Reading

Crewmates are a weird humanoid species the planet Jupiter with detached arms, no heads, but incredibly a neck. Crewmates evolved completely separately to humans but still share the common structure of having legs and a torso. Crewmates're still pretty stupid, not being able to maintain the most simple of structures built by them.

Teletubby Involvement

Dipsy one day in Teletubby Land thought it would be a good idea to impersonate one of them to test their intelligence, so he did the standard Teletubby yoga exercise of regressing his head and legs into his torso, and for months no Crewmate noticed the increasing amount of Spaghetti that went missing. This disguising and evilness worked so well that the other Teletubbies copied him, and started infiltrating Crewmate living spaces. Then Laa-Laa started killing everyone, drawing the attention of every single Teletubby, who'd all try to making this species go extinct in the most stupid ways possible.

Crewmates around the galaxy would hear the news that the Teletubby Army was army was after them. Asplode Asplode Tinky Winky was the worst of them. And worst of all, he could be any one of us... He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-

Spy asplode-0
Louie Louie's Notes
Blasphemy! These things insides taste like sewage, absolutely vile. Cut into steaks, remove the bone, and microwave for 5 minutes. Serve it to your foes and watch them violently cough it out. They'll never see it coming!
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.