Hogwarts express

Why you shouldn't trust it

The creepy white van, or C.W.V, is driven by a suspicious driver. It can appear ANYWHERE, at ANYTIME! AAAAHHHH!!! Also, inside the van are normally free stuff, such as candy, pokemon, or Target gift cards. The children (and adults) see all those target gift cards, and then the driver r*pes them! AAAAAAAHHHH!!!! Then the van drives off to somewhere, presumably an abandoned warehouse in Detroit, so the driver can force the kids to look at Goatse. Or get attacked by geese. Or if it is not human nor animal (like catgirls, avians, werewolves) it might get killed at a facility

Things that the driver says are found in the creepy white van

  • Pokemon
  • Shames
  • Puppies
  • Candy
  • Kittens
  • Crayons
  • Toys
  • DVDs of baby shows
  • Ice cream (seems to work all the time)
  • Money
  • Awesome Sauce
  • DVDs of King of the Hill

Things that are actually found in the creepy white van

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