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"Woah!"

Crash Bandicoot's last words... every single time.

"PANCAKES!"

Crash Bandicoot after spending a minute in the SMT subreddit (he's referencing the guy with the stupid nose mask.)

Ooh... WOW! That was intense! I just flew in from the new ruins level and BOY are my arms tired. PAAAAH!

Crash Bandicoot speaking fluent English. This is a rare sight.

Crash Bandicoot (sometimes called Cash Banooca) is one of those pesky genetically enhanced eastern barred bandicoot that you see from time to time. He was created by Neo Cortex in 1947. He is the current ruler of N. Sanity Island and the president of Sony. He is often considered the most powerful bandicoot in the entire world. He's also the only powerful bandicoot in the entire world, as he has a bazooka, a cool jetpack, and, a most excellent jet-ski!

History[]

Crash Bandicoot

Crash in bandicoot form.

Crash Bandicoot was born on N. Sanity Island. Raised in a hole, he didn't really have all that much hope in life. Every day was the same. He woke up, caught breakfast, slept for a while, woke up at dinnertime, caught dinner, and then went to bed to start the next day. It was even more redundant than it sounds.

But then, Neo Cortex kidnapped Crash, and turned him into a mutant freak. Too smart for bandicoots, but too stupid for humans. He ran into the forest. Here, he found another hole to live in, following a similar routine. But since he was mutated, he needed more food and more sleep.

Cortex was not happy with this. He sent some guys in to "eliminate" (a polite word for brutally murder) Crash. Crash used his new powers to destroy these guys. Then he ran all the way back to Cortex's lab, and crashed the whole place. He then found a box, crashed into it, and became SUPER CRASH! Of course, he was still Crash, but he can dream, can't he?

After saving N. Sanity Island from the tyrannic rule of Cortex, he became a hero. He was quickly crowned the new king of N. Sanity Island, and he also won a life time supply of pancakes, which he ate in one day. They gave him another lifetime supply, which he ate in five minutes. Content with his life, he took residence in the castle. He used his new royal power to get get whatever he wanted (mainly food).

Then, on a dark Monday night, Spyro found Crash. As Spyro was the president of Sony, he had the power to make shames about anyone he wanted. Spyro liked Crash because of his tendancy to eat thing that you are not supposed to eat. In fact, he was second at this only to Baby Yoshi. Sony eventually sponsored Crash, and made many shames about him. After a while, Crash got a job for Sony, and quickly became vice president. Crash then sent his army on Spyro. This resulted in the Sony Civil War. After several decades of fighting, Crash won, and became the new president of Sony.

Powers[]

Crash Spin

Crash demonstrating his legendary spinning abilities.

Crash is known for being the most powerful (and only powerful) bandicoot in the world. First of all, his name is Crash. This is a cool ability in itself. After that, he is also incredibly strong, capable of crashing stuff with little effort. He is also capable of taking a papercut without crying for very long. In addition to this, he can also slam into a brick wall and leave a huge dent. This isn't really a power, but it's funny.

Crash is probably most well known for spinning around like a three year old. For some reason, people consider this a power. He'll spin all day, singing "La la la la!" the whole time. Sometimes he will spin right into crates. This is his favorite way to crash them. Sometimes he'll explode while spinning, but this is rare.

He also has a few other less known powers. First of all, he can burp so loud, you can hear it three miles away. Even Homer Simpson can't do that. Crash can also crash stuff, but you probably knew that. He can hear really well because of his big ears, and he can bite stuff with his giant teeth. We also believe he has heat vision, but this has yet to be confirmed.

He stars in Megamind to play a rip-off character of Superman. While from the film more is discovered about his superpowers, it is also revealed that his weakness is copper.

Neo Cortex (as Neo Cortex Rocks)

(1947)

:3

1947-Today

We don't know...

(????)

President of Sony

(1954-2004)

:3

2004-Today

We still don't know...

(????)

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