Count Cannoli is an enemy of Wario and the Wafia. He also kind of looks like Porky but with a big fat stupid hat.
Life[]
Count Cannoli was born in Brooklyn and started his own company called Standard Oil. But in 1911, Wario lobbied congress to destroy his company. Cannoli used the Negative Zone Machine to trap the pringles guy inside a wand and called it Goodstyle. 20 years later Cannoli got off his couch to steal and illegally sell alcohol under the alias The Silver Zephyr.
In the 1980's he worked with Gaygas and a Coven to kill Sans Undertale Jr. with Gay Disease.
And in the year 2019 Count Cannoli formed a company in The United States of UnAmerica called "The Government," at first the government tried to pass a bill destroying "The Government" but that only PWNed themselves, and "The Government" until 2031 ruled the United States of UnAmerica before the guilt from killing Sans Undertale Jr. magically destroyed "The Government" with the 666th Amendment saying "The Government is homosexual and killed me."
In 2033 Count Cannoli founded Standard Oil 2 and invented Chicken Tenders and raked in 9,223,372,036,854,775,807 UnDollars. Giygas Inc. tried to buy out Standard Oil 2, but instead started "The Super Penultimate War of the UnUniverse As We Know It." After the great war, both companies lost and were bought out by WarioWare, Inc. for 2 -∞ UnDollars.
In the year 2100 he was offered by Satanist Empire a rare ∞ UnDollar Bill in exchange for that -∞ UnDollar Bill and accepted the offer. But both items were destroyed in the exchange and created the NaN UnMoney, which's value is unknown.
After all of that Count Cannoli started "The Great Depression 2" to sell more alcoholic beverages to Mario and Luigi.
Currently Count Cannoli keeps the Pringles Guy wand in eternal auction for OVER 9000 UnDollars.
The New Super Mechanical Robot Cyborg Ultra Death Serial Killer Masked Claus Man Deluxe Penultimate Ultra Super Duper Definitive Edition New Murderer Version 9001 Deluxe Turbo Super Executioner from Hell himself. It's not Mario SHUT UP!!!
In the year 2018 Count Cannoli payed a retributionist to summon and revive the Claus and turn him into a robot of the same name. Cannoli's plan succeeded and now Cannoli can kill everyone he wishes. In 19,999 Count Cannoli upgraded his machine to be even more deadly, but he died after making it.
Death[]
In the year 20,000, Count Cannoli was killed by the N.S.M.R.C.U.D.S.K.M.C.M.D.P.U.S.D.D.E.N.M.V.9001.D.T.S.E.H. for being within the OVER 9000 kilometer distance of where it has perfect aiming accuracy. He didn't run fast enough.
Trivia[]
- Count Cannoli was in a friend circle with Hatsune Miku and da Noise.